Law Office in Far Rockaway Queens NYC

Divorce Support System in Far Rockaway Queens

Summary: Divorce support groups can be useful and enormously helpful throughout your emotional phases. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that burden with these divorce support groups.

The road to recovery from any uncomfortable divorce can be disheartening, and it can actually, really be lonely. To ease this forlorn journey of starting fresh, you need a lot of company and inspiration with individuals who would care, people who are much like you, who understands that a little carefully prod will get you on track sooner than you might want to believe.

Divorce support groups can be significantly encouraging and helpful during your psychological phases. Most or all of the members have successfully seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they command these divorce support groups to recover and assist recover the injuries of the most recent members. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that concern with these divorce support groups.

Divorce Care in Far Rockaway Queens

Include a friendly group in Far Rockaway Queens of individuals that satisfy weekly to assist those with divorce problems deal with these obstacles and approach reconstructing lives. Each of the divorce support group session hosts 2 different functions which are the video seminar with professionals where the group will view a video workshop about dealing with divorce issues; and the divorce support system with a focus which will discuss the video discussion and the divorce issues in between the lives of the group members.

Attorney

Divorce Recovery 101

Another online divorce support system, Divorce Recovery features divorce procedures assist, advise, pointers, divorce law in-depth description, divorce data, and divorce-related information. Read and compare your experiences with the 300 Life-Changing Articles on Divorce Recovery. There are numerous articles about life after divorce too.

Divorce Peers in Far Rockaway Queens

A free access community service website in Far Rockaway Queens, Divorce Peers helps struggling people cope up with the pressures and obstacles purchased up by divorce. Seek the assistance of how to decide on child custody, the financial issues that would expectedly surface, divorce mediation and of course aid in dealing with the effects of divorce.

Divorce Peers in Far Rockaway Queens is developed to accommodate 2 kinds of visitors: those that need aid and those that can give assistance. For those that can provide assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to handle members suffering from divorce.

Law Office

Summary: Divorce assistance groups can be helpful and tremendously helpful during your emotional stages. The majority of or all of the members in Far Rockaway Queens have actually effectively seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they preside over these divorce assistance groups to assist and recover heal the wounds of the most recent members. You can begin a divorce support group of your own or take part in an existing group. Another online divorce assistance group, Divorce Recovery in Far Rockaway Queens includes divorce proceedings help, encourage ideas, divorce law in-depth description, divorce statistics and divorce associated details. For those that can offer assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to deal with members suffering from divorce.

Family Law

Far Rockaway Queens

Do not expose your family members to mental torture

I recently overheard someone in a bookstore telling a group of people why they should not have their own attorneys, how they could not trust lawyers, how lawyers would cheat them and how they should rely upon the company the speaker belonged to instead. That conversation got me thinking about why people facing separation and divorce need not just any lawyer, but a good divorce lawyer.

Reason #1-What You need to know

You need to know your rights, duties and responsibilities under the law. Only a lawyer who has been retained to represent your interests can advise you. How can you realistically discuss financial arrangements in separating and divorcing, if you don't know what your rights, duties and responsibilities are? Not knowing what your rights are can result in not getting your fair share of assets, your fair share of support or your fair share of time with your children. Not knowing what your duties and responsibilities are can result in your paying more than your fair share of assets or your fair share of support. Most attorneys offer a special reduced rate for consulting services to encourage people to get advice early and often. There is no reason to rely on backyard fence advice, when you can get real advice from a qualified experienced divorce lawyer for a reasonable fee. Furthermore, in my experience, the backyard fence advice is usually wrong. Remember that if what you hear is half true, it is still wrong.

Reason #2-Backyard Advice

My friend is divorced. Why can't I rely on my friend's experience and knowledge. Well, you could do that but what you need to realize is that unless your friend is a licensed attorney, he/she is not authorized to practice law. Your friend's knowledge will be limited to his/her particular experience. His/her experience with the law is limited to the facts of his/her case and the law as it was at the time. Things change. The law changes. Any change in the facts will change the outcome or advice. Furthermore, changes in the law will change the advice. Your friend simply lacks the knowledge and experience to give sound practical legal advice.

Reason #3-Identifying Issues

The sooner you get a lawyer, the sooner you will learn what you need to know to protect yourself (and your children and property interests). Sometimes people have no idea how to go about identifying the issues they need to discuss, even if the separation is an amicable one and the parties anticipate a "friendly divorce." A good, experienced divorce lawyer can assist you in identifying the issues you need to discuss with your spouse to achieve a comprehensive agreement and global settlement. Over the years there have been numerous times when we were able to point out to clients areas they had initially overlooked and issues which should be included in their settlement discussions, such as life insurance, health insurance, and children's educational needs.

Reason #4-To Share or Not to Share?

My spouse already has an attorney. Do I really need to get one too? Can't the same lawyer represent us both? The answer is no, not really. 30 years ago when I first began practicing law, it was strictly forbidden for a lawyer to represent both sides to a divorce, no matter how "friendly" it was. There are some limited circumstances in which dual representation might be allowed, provided there is full disclosure of potential conflicts of interest and a waiver of conflicts with informed consent by both parties. These situations are limited and in the event that unhappy differences or disputes should arise, the attorney must end the representation and both parties must seek new counsel. Frankly, we rarely if ever agree to dual representation. We represent our clients zealously within the bounds of the law and the conflicts in representing opposing sides are too apparent for us to agree to do so. Not only that, but if your spouse has a lawyer, that means that he/she has already sought legal advice and has some rudimentary knowledge of his/her rights, duties and responsibilities under the law.

Someone once said knowledge is power. Would you rather be the one with the knowledge (and the power) or the one without knowledge? How trusting can you be of your spouse or his/her attorney in the circumstances? Remember that your spouse's attorney already represents your spouse. In our experience, spouses, especially those who tend to be controlling will think nothing of misrepresenting the law to gain advantage in the negotiation. Recently a client told me that her husband who remains in the marital home told her that she was now his "landlord" and therefore she could not re-enter the home without his consent and presence and that his lawyer said so. Needless to say, everything he told her was wrong. Her husband also told our client that they did not need to use lawyers and could reach an agreement on their own without lawyers. He also said that if she insisted on having her attorney review paperwork before she signed it that he would find something to disagree with on each draft to drive up her costs. Clearly he was trying to manipulate, intimidate and control his wife, who was wise to seek her own independent counsel from a knowledgeable, experienced divorce attorney.

Reason #5-Do You Feel Lucky?

Going to a court hearing in a pending divorce without a lawyer is like playing Russian Roulette. How lucky do you think you are? Would you perform surgery on yourself or would you seek out a qualified surgeon? Why do you think that you know enough to represent yourself in court? Do you know what your rights, duties and responsibilities are? The judge won't help you out if you don't know what you are doing. There are rules of evidence and rules of procedure that govern hearings. You need someone on your team that knows the rules of the game. You will need someone to prepare you for your testimony in court so that you don't put your feet in your mouth up to your hip bone. You will be bound by the things that come out of your mouth in court. Recently we spoke to a man who incurred spousal and child support obligations of $4000 per month. The court issued an order based on erroneous exhibits filed by his wife's attorney and based upon things he said in open court as to his income which were not accurate. A skilled trial attorney can get you to say things that you don't mean to say, especially if you have not been prepared for your testimony.

Reason #6-Too Little, Too Late

Going to see a lawyer after you have already signed papers or participated in depositions or hearings pro se (representing yourself) is like closing the barn door, after the cow got out. Just because you were not represented does not mean that you can get out of a bad decision or bad deal you may have made or get out of rulings the court made when you were unrepresented. The time to get advice is before you sign. The time to get advice is before you go to court. In fact, you should get advice as soon as you receive legal notice of a pending lawsuit against you.

If you are reading this and you have already signed papers, you should still consult with a good experienced divorce attorney to have the papers explained to you and to review t he papers to see if there are any loopholes that may be used to renegotiate terms move favorably to you or to insist upon "clarification" of the agreement. The attorney can also explain the consequences of having signed the paperwork.

If you are reading this and you are in the midst of a divorce action and have been to depositions on your own, you should seek an immediate consultation with a good experienced divorce attorney to see if there is any legal basis to suppress the depositions. Be sure to take all of your documents with you to the consultation. We have seen situations where it was possible to reopen a case for a client because the depositions were taken too early. In such situations, the depositions were quashed by filing the appropriate papers under the rules of court. In your case it may be too late to do anything, but you should at least talk to a divorce attorney right away to be sure.

Reason #7-Isn't a Lawyer a Lawyer? (A Rose by Any Other Name...)

I know a lawyer who did the closing on our house. Can't I go to him/her for advice about separation and divorce? Yes, you could but there is a saying that if the blind lead the blind, they both fall in a ditch. Would you go to a podiatrist (foot doctor) if you had an eye infection? You could; after all, the podiatrist went to medical school and learned about the body, including the eyes. The questions are how much, if anything does he/she remember, is he/she current on the medical literature pertaining to the eye and infection, including the diagnosis and treatment of the eye? I have seen horrendous separation agreements prepared by lawyers who do not devote at least a significant portion of their practice to family law but were trying to accommodate a friend or relation in their time of need. Actually a lawyer should decline a case, if he/she does not believe that he/she has the knowledge and experience to handle it or that he/she is not willing to acquire the knowledge necessary to handle it.

It takes a significant amount of time to keep up with all of the changes in the law that affect separation and divorce. Think about it. Every week somewhere there is a court, either federal or state making a decision that could affect your situation. Every week that the legislature is in session, whether Congress or the General Assembly, they make decisions that could affect your situation. An experienced divorce attorney should make it a point to review new cases and statutes looking for those that affect family law practice; all of the best family lawyers do.

Reason #8-Prepaid Legal?

If you have paid for this service, then certainly you can talk to one of the participating attorneys. But unless the attorney is an experienced divorce lawyer with a significant portion of his/her practice devoted to separation and divorce and related issues, you should give serious consideration to looking outside of your prepaid plan. Has the lawyer written any books or articles on separation, divorce or related issues that are published? I am not a participating attorney in a pre paid legal plan. The best divorce lawyers are not participants in "prepaid" legal. To my knowledge there are no fellows (members) of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers who participate in pre paid legal services plans. If you are reading this report and have personal knowledge of an attorney who belongs to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and also belongs to a pre paid legal plan, please email us at valawtalk@justice.com to report the name of the attorney so that we can verify the information and update this report.

Think about what is at stake; the custody and support of your children, and the division of assets you may have worked your entire married life to accumulate, including your home, pension, savings, military retirement and/or 401K. Do you really want to cut corners when it comes to your kids? Your home? Your pension? Your retirement?

Reason #9-A Ship Needs a Navigator

If you think of your legal case as a ship, the client is the captain of the ship and the client's attorney is the navigator. The navigator doesn't decide where to go, but he/she does map out the best course to arrive at the destination. Divorce is difficult, even "friendly" divorce is not easy. It can be an emotional rollercoaster. You need emotional, psychological and legal support. In choosing to separate and divorce, you will be faced with important decisions that will affect you, your spouse and your children not only now but in the foreseeable future. Passions can run hot during this difficult time and you need a clear head. You need a team of individuals including someone knowledgeable in separation and divorce law to help you see clearly and navigate the difficult and sometimes angry waters of separation and divorce.

Not having a good divorce lawyer at the planning and separation stage leaves you without the sound advice and rational third party perspective you need to make decisions which can bind you for life. Not having a good divorce lawyer at the divorce stage leaves you without the knowledge, experience and advocacy of a good experienced divorce attorney. It leaves you at the mercy of your spouse and your spouse's attorney. Neither your spouse nor his/her attorney is there to show you mercy. You need someone to fight for you when you cannot fight for yourself. You need someone to help you understand what is gong on and how to act in the storm.

You need someone who can help you to be pro-active and not simply re-active to steps that your spouse takes. You want a team to support you, a team which can and should include your pastor, rabbi or spiritual advisor, your CPA or tax advisor, extended family, friends and a good experienced divorce attorney.

Reason #10-You Need an Advocate

You are going through a traumatic experience. Divorce is one of the most difficult experiences in life, second only to the death of a spouse. You need someone who understands what is at stake and will advocate for your interests with not only knowledge and experience but passion and feeling. When you interview attorneys, find out why they practice family law and what motivates them in advocating for clients. What is it that makes them passionate advocates? I recently spoke with another trial attorney who does not generally handle divorce work. He usually handles criminal and traffic defense and civil suits for money damages; he told me that he was forced by the poor economy to take a contested divorce case. Divorce and family law are not his first choice of trial work. He is doing it now solely for the money. Is that the motivation you would want in your attorney? Or would you rather have a lawyer who has made a conscious decsion to focus on family law and uses his/her life experience such as knowing what it is like to be a child of divorce to relate to the circumstances of your case and to advocate for you with passion and conviction?

Annulment

How Divorce Lawyers For Males Can Help Customers Prevent Missteps

Far Rockaway Queens

Consider a primary relationship in your life where you like somebody and they love you. This could be an intimate collaboration, a child-parent relationship or a really close friendship. Here are the two things to prevent, if you wish to make sure love is present at all times.

Relationship killer #1:

Firstly, you should never expect that because someone loves you, they need to sacrifice themselves for you and put your needs first. We often mistakenly think that the degree to which someone suffers is a testimony for the amount of love they have for us. Likewise, we mistakenly believe that if someone puts their needs first, they don't love us. But that is not true at all. If I refuse to sacrifice myself for you, it doesn't mean I don't love you. It simply means I am clear on what works for me and what doesn't, and I don't mess with my own needs. Please don't take this personal. I love you nonetheless, but I certainly don't have to suffer in order to prove my love for you. Besides, if you doubt it, chances are no matter how much I suffer, you will never believe me anyway. Get this: your partner having fun while you are in hardship doesn't mean they don't love you. The people who love you don't owe you any suffering on their part whenever things are not working out for you. So don't be jealous when your loved one is out with friends while you are working hard or cooking alone at home. No one needs to put their own life on hold only because yours is (even when they truly love you!). Of course, you can ask for support. That's perfectly reasonable. But asking someone to sacrifice themselves and to suffer so you can feel loved - that is totally unreasonable. And it is a sure relationship killer.

Relationship killer #2:

The other way to kill a relationship is by trying to prove your love for someone by sacrificing your own needs and suffering as a consequence. See, whenever you suffer, there is no real love to speak of. If you were doing something for someone because you wanted to and because you loved them unconditionally, you wouldn't be suffering. But if you sacrifice yourself out of obligation and/or guilt, the unconditional love is gone and you are likely to expect something in return. In other words, you try to manipulate someone into loving you back by doing things for them which they then have to repay you for. Sadly enough, you are playing a game thinking you can control someone else's feelings and buy their love. Of course, the result is just the opposite - you are slowly but surely killing the relationship. So stop that immediately by starting to put yourself and your needs first. Find your own truth and start honoring it. Understand that you are allowed to have a good time without feeling guilty when your partner does not want to or cannot participate. Of course, you can support them when they are feeling low. But you don't have to suffer with them or else you will become resentful and kill the relationship as a result.

In conclusion:

 

  • Love should be free - no attachments, no suffering, no trading of favors, and no feelings of obligation and guilt.
  • Love should be independent - I love you and I put myself first; you love me and you put yourself first; we love each other and we honor our independent needs nonetheless.
  • Love should be by choice - I love you how I want to, not how I feel have to.

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Law Office in New York

Law Office in Rockaways Queens NYC

Divorce Support System in Rockaways Queens

Summary: Divorce support groups can be useful and enormously helpful throughout your emotional phases. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that burden with these divorce support groups.

The road to recovery from any uncomfortable divorce can be disheartening, and it can actually, really be lonely. To ease this forlorn journey of starting fresh, you need a lot of company and inspiration with individuals who would care, people who are much like you, who understands that a little carefully prod will get you on track sooner than you might want to believe.

Divorce support groups can be significantly encouraging and helpful during your psychological phases. Most or all of the members have successfully seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they command these divorce support groups to recover and assist recover the injuries of the most recent members. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that concern with these divorce support groups.

Divorce Care in Rockaways Queens

Include a friendly group in Rockaways Queens of individuals that satisfy weekly to assist those with divorce problems deal with these obstacles and approach reconstructing lives. Each of the divorce support group session hosts 2 different functions which are the video seminar with professionals where the group will view a video workshop about dealing with divorce issues; and the divorce support system with a focus which will discuss the video discussion and the divorce issues in between the lives of the group members.

Law Office

Divorce Recovery 101

Another online divorce support system, Divorce Recovery features divorce procedures assist, advise, pointers, divorce law in-depth description, divorce data, and divorce-related information. Read and compare your experiences with the 300 Life-Changing Articles on Divorce Recovery. There are numerous articles about life after divorce too.

Divorce Peers in Rockaways Queens

A free access community service website in Rockaways Queens, Divorce Peers helps struggling people cope up with the pressures and obstacles purchased up by divorce. Seek the assistance of how to decide on child custody, the financial issues that would expectedly surface, divorce mediation and of course aid in dealing with the effects of divorce.

Divorce Peers in Rockaways Queens is developed to accommodate 2 kinds of visitors: those that need aid and those that can give assistance. For those that can provide assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to handle members suffering from divorce.

Family Court

Summary: Divorce assistance groups can be helpful and tremendously helpful during your emotional stages. The majority of or all of the members in Rockaways Queens have actually effectively seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they preside over these divorce assistance groups to assist and recover heal the wounds of the most recent members. You can begin a divorce support group of your own or take part in an existing group. Another online divorce assistance group, Divorce Recovery in Rockaways Queens includes divorce proceedings help, encourage ideas, divorce law in-depth description, divorce statistics and divorce associated details. For those that can offer assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to deal with members suffering from divorce.

Civil Law

Rockaways Queens

Do not expose your family members to mental torture

With the changes in family law over the last 30 years, including the adoption of equitable distribution in place of the old common-law rules, the adoption of laws protecting military spouses, and the adoption of support guidelines and various local rules promulgated within the various circuits, the area of separation and divorce has become much too complicated and specialized for someone who does not regularly handle these types of cases. It distresses us when clients come to us with poorly drafted separation agreements, and/or decrees which other inexperienced attorneys have handled. Just as it is better to win at trial than to have a great appeal issue, it is much better to have the right attorney, one who will get it right the first time, than to have to pay someone to fix problems stemming from errors made in the first place. Sometimes the errors are very costly and cannot be fixed as shown in the series of articles I wrote for The Family Law News, a peer review publication of the Virginia State Bar, Section of Family Law, entitled "Costly Errors in Multi-State Military Divorce; Or a Military Wife's Tale of Woe," which are published in the Fall 2007 and Spring 2008 issues of the publication.

The series of articles outlines the legal authorities, strategy and procedural points we used to successfully defend a military retiree, who was a veteran of the Vietnam War. His ex-wife was attempting to obtain half of his military retired pay and spousal support here in Virginia, despite having divorced him six years earlier in Hawaii. While we are always happy to achieve a successful outcome for our clients, we felt sorry for the ex-wife, who had received poor legal advice from hr attorney in the original divorce action in Hawaii, advice that lead to poor decisions which the Virginia Court found to bind her permanently. In ruling for us in the case, the judge told the ex-wife that instead of suing her ex-husband, show should go after the attorney in Hawaii who represented her in the divorce.

So, how do you go about finding a good divorce lawyer? Here are a few suggestions:

Suggestion #1-Ask a Lawyer

If you know a lawyer, ask him/her for a referral to a good divorce lawyer. He or she will probably know someone or several someones who devote a significant portion of the practice of law to separation and divorce and related issues. For example, I have been handling separation and divorce for 30 years and have an excellent reputation among the local legal community. Any divorce attorney worth his/her salt should have established a reputation among other lawyers. Lawyers generally know who is good for a particular type of case; they certainly know who they would see, if they were facing separation and divorce.

Suggestion #2-Yellow Pages/Internet

While not a great source of information, the Yellow Pages and internet can be a beginning source of attorney names. Lawyers who do not mention separation, divorce, military divorce, and related areas like custody and support or property division, are not seeking cases in those areas and certainly don't devote a significant portion of the practice to those areas. Be leery of ads that include a laundry list of everything under the sun. Remember the old saying, "a jack of all trades and master of none"? Wouldn't you rather have someone who takes the time to focus at least a significant amount of time to family law, than someone who maybe devotes 3% of his/her practice to family law issues? Remember not everyone advertises in the Yellow Pages or haw a website or internet presence.. For example, there are more telephone listings than there are attorney ads in the Yellow Pages.

SUGGESTION # 3-VIRGINIA LAWYER REFERRAL SERVICE

The Virginia Lawyer Referral Service is operated by the Virginia State Bar. Lawyers must ask to get on the list and must agree to a fixed fee for an initial consultation. A lawyer can be listed under any category he/she asks for. The names are on a rotating list and given to consumers who contact the service. Again, not all attorneys are listed. We are not listed with the referral service. This resource can provide the name of an attorney who is seeking family law cases. This does not mean that the attorney is an expert in these types of cases or that he/she is experienced. All it means is that he or she is seeking divorce cases. Be sure to take the questions I talk about here to the attorney interview.

Suggestion #4-Talk to More Than One Attorney

In fact, interview several attorneys. Ask each attorney who else handles separation and divorce in the area. If they won't give you names, leave the office, when you see names showing up on various lists of recommendations, the odds are probably good that the attorney is doing these cases on a regular basis.

Suggestion #5 - Use a Checklist

I have outlined factors that you should consider when selecting a divorce lawyer.

A. Experience. The longer you have been practicing a particular area of the law, the more you know. There is an old adage that says a good lawyer knows the law and a great lawyer knows the judge! What is the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? Experience.

B. Experience Trying Cases. Has he/she achieved any trial successes for his/her clients? Can the lawyer point to case results or client testimonial reflecting his/her abilities?

C. Are they willing to settle when appropriate to do so? Trial attorneys sometimes suffer from a hired gun mentality. They like the thrill of trying cases and may not consider other options, such as mediation or arbitration to achieve a resolution. Most good divorce attorneys do not adopt this approach, but see trial as a last resort, when other options have failed to precipitate a fair resolution of the issues. Unlike other areas of the law, family law often entails ongoing relationships and consequently requires a different perspective. I recently read an article by a personal injury attorney, who was writing on how to choose a personal injury lawyer. He said not to choose a lawyer who settles a lot of cases. When it comes to separation and divorce, I believe it is important to try to reach an agreement, if you can.

Going to court about family law unless you have to is like using a sledge hammer on a flea problem; you may kill a few fleas, but you wreak a lot of damage to the structure of the house, too. When individuals settle their own cases outside of court, they can be a lot more creative than the court would be in fashioning a remedy that is fair to both parties. Sometimes, agreement is just not possible. When that is the case, you want an experienced able divorce attorney who can advocate for your position in court and has a proven track record of success.

D. Respect in the legal community. What are other lawyers saying about this lawyer? Has the lawyer lectured or taught? Has he/she taught other lawyers?

E. Publications. Has he/she written anything that has been accepted for publication in legal journals? This is another sign of respect for the lawyer and for his/her skills and experience. Has he/she written or published anything designed to educate the public as to their rights duties and responsibilities under the law?

F. Affiliations and memberships. What professional affiliations does the attorney have? Is he/she a member of the Family Law Section of the Virginia State Bar Association? A member of the Virginia Trial Lawyers? A fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Attorneys?

G. Does the attorney limit the number of cases he/she undertakes? We don't take every case that calls in or walks through the door. We limit the number of cases that we undertake to handle at a given point in time so that we an focus on doing the best job for those clients.

H. Relationship issues.

1. How was the telephone answered when you called for an appointment?

2. How were you greeted when you entered the office? Were you offered refreshments?

3. Did the attorney and staff listen to you? Are you sure? Could you tell they were listening?

4. Were you interrupted during your time with the lawyer?

5. Does the attorney use written agreements setting out the parameters of the representation and the financial arrangements?

6. One of the most important aspects of choosing a lawyer is the relationship aspect: you need to be able to work effectively and comfortably with your lawyer. The relationship requires intimacy and trust. Do you feel comfortable with the attorney?

7. Were you introduced to staff?

8. How long does the attorney retain files on closed cases? What happens to the closed file? How is it disposed of? What steps does the attorney take to safeguard your confidential information?

I. Why does he/she practice divorce law? Friends and colleagues think I'm crazy to devote so much time to separation and divorce law. They may be right, I just may be a little crazy. But like the song says, "it just may be a lunatic you're looking for." When interviewing a potential divorce lawyer be sure to ask him/her why they choose to practice family law. Does the lawyer have a life experience that allows him/her to advocate for divorce clients with genuine passion? Is that passion something that is reflected in client testimonials?

J. Cost. Unlike personal injury practice, the best divorce lawyers do not offer "free" consultations. You will notice that cost is last on the list. In our experience, the best divorce lawyers are generally not the cheapest. In the long run, what is it worth to you to retain or acquire your fair share of the assets that have been accumulated over the course of your married life? What is it worth to you to insure that you retain your fair share of time with your children? Some things are worth fighting for and worth the price that you have to pay.

If your attorney does not devote a significant portion of his/her practice to family law issues, has never tried a contested divorce, has never tried a contested custody case or who has never tried an equitable distribution case, or drafted a qualified domestic relations order dividing a pension, or who has no experience in military divorce and has never drafted a military retired pay order, you may want to choose another lawyer for your separation and divorce.

Common Law Marriage

Obtaining A Divorce Legal Representative

Rockaways Queens

Getting a permanent separation can be emotionally draining on both partners. Even when the couple is splitting amicably, the number of decisions to be made about assets, child custody, spousal support, and other factors can be exhausting. When there is a dispute, or the partners are otherwise unable to negotiate in a mutually agreeable manner, a divorce lawyer is necessary. Their experience, guidance, and unbiased legal representation can smooth the negotiation process while ensuring their clients' respective needs are addressed.

Not all legal experts are equally equipped to handle this type of case. Finding and hiring a family law expert who can protect your rights can be challenging. Below, we'll explain the value they add to the process. Then, we'll describe the factors that you should consider most important when retaining a lawyer's services.

The Value Of A Divorce Lawyer

Legal experts in family law can offer years of experience in helping to settle the affairs of couples during the dissolution of their marriage. This includes negotiating the division of assets and property. Often, these details can be complicated due to the nature of the assets. For example, the sale of a residence may result in significant capital gains taxes. Similarly, when pensions and other retirement accounts must be divided, capital gains or losses may result. Many circumstances benefit from the advice of an attorney.

A family law expert can also help negotiate the details surrounding child custody and visitation rights. They can address issues regarding the provision of support from one spouse to the other. In short, having proper legal advice is essential.

Look For Experience

A legal expert who specializes in handling divorce cases will be more effective than an attorney who doesn't. Their experience is valuable for a few reasons. First, they'll have a familiarity with local judges. Second, an experienced attorney will know the best way to work with a mediator. Also, keep in mind that many law professionals who negotiate settlements have deeper specializations. For example, they may handle a large number of cases that involve complex child custody issues or they may have experience with couples who own a family business. The more significant the experience, the more value divorce lawyers can offer clients.

Access And Communication

Some family law experts are very communicative, returning phone calls and emails in a timely manner. Others are less so. There may be times when you have a question for your attorney that requires a prompt response or you may be unsatisfied with your lawyer's performance and want to schedule a meeting to discuss it. In each case, working with an legal expert who is unresponsive can turn a situation that is already stressful into a horrible experience. During the initial consultation with divorce lawyers in Chicago, or in any other city, ask about the level of access you'll have. Inquire about the communication process so you'll know what to expect in the future.

Do You Truly Need An Attorney?

It's not always necessary to hire a legal professional for this type of case. If there are no children, few assets, and little to no property, couples may be able to reach a settlement on their own. There are also cases in which the spouses can effectively negotiate the division of assets, jointly held property, and child custody issues without a mediator or divorce lawyers. That being said, such cases are rare as even amicable spouses can become emotionally involved when a marriage ends. In the end, every divorce case is unique. You should decide whether you need an attorney to help negotiate a settlement based upon the complexity of your individual circumstances.

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Law Office in New York

Attorney At Law in West Central Queens NYC

Divorce Support System in West Central Queens

Summary: Divorce support groups can be useful and enormously helpful throughout your emotional phases. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that burden with these divorce support groups.

The road to recovery from any uncomfortable divorce can be disheartening, and it can actually, really be lonely. To ease this forlorn journey of starting fresh, you need a lot of company and inspiration with individuals who would care, people who are much like you, who understands that a little carefully prod will get you on track sooner than you might want to believe.

Divorce support groups can be significantly encouraging and helpful during your psychological phases. Most or all of the members have successfully seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they command these divorce support groups to recover and assist recover the injuries of the most recent members. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that concern with these divorce support groups.

Divorce Care in West Central Queens

Include a friendly group in West Central Queens of individuals that satisfy weekly to assist those with divorce problems deal with these obstacles and approach reconstructing lives. Each of the divorce support group session hosts 2 different functions which are the video seminar with professionals where the group will view a video workshop about dealing with divorce issues; and the divorce support system with a focus which will discuss the video discussion and the divorce issues in between the lives of the group members.

Divorce Lawyer

Divorce Recovery 101

Another online divorce support system, Divorce Recovery features divorce procedures assist, advise, pointers, divorce law in-depth description, divorce data, and divorce-related information. Read and compare your experiences with the 300 Life-Changing Articles on Divorce Recovery. There are numerous articles about life after divorce too.

Divorce Peers in West Central Queens

A free access community service website in West Central Queens, Divorce Peers helps struggling people cope up with the pressures and obstacles purchased up by divorce. Seek the assistance of how to decide on child custody, the financial issues that would expectedly surface, divorce mediation and of course aid in dealing with the effects of divorce.

Divorce Peers in West Central Queens is developed to accommodate 2 kinds of visitors: those that need aid and those that can give assistance. For those that can provide assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to handle members suffering from divorce.

Divorce Lawyers

Summary: Divorce assistance groups can be helpful and tremendously helpful during your emotional stages. The majority of or all of the members in West Central Queens have actually effectively seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they preside over these divorce assistance groups to assist and recover heal the wounds of the most recent members. You can begin a divorce support group of your own or take part in an existing group. Another online divorce assistance group, Divorce Recovery in West Central Queens includes divorce proceedings help, encourage ideas, divorce law in-depth description, divorce statistics and divorce associated details. For those that can offer assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to deal with members suffering from divorce.

Visitation

West Central Queens

Do not expose your family members to mental torture

If you are looking for divorce lawyer should ensure that he or she has the right attitude for the task, they are reliable and above all, an expert in the field. Regarding experience, should be able to demonstrate that at least half of their work involves divorce and have the bargaining power of divorce as well. Your lawyer should be someone you trust and work comfortably, someone who has their confidence.

Divorce lawyers who tend to follow the path of mediation is to give good advice to pay, but you may need a lawyer who is familiar with the localities courtroom. To get the most from your divorce lawyer and save money when you need to talk to them, be well prepared and I wrote everything, but do not waste your money by asking questions whose answers are available.

The plan of each conversation to a program, write the things I mean, take notes on the content of the conversation, track time spent on all phone calls and meetings. Try to keep the actual meetings, as a minimum and where points have to be removed, using the phone or send a letter.

Your lawyer is your advice to both predictable that any legal action, but try not to count on them for anything but what you pay if you need a shoulder to cry on, you'd better talk with friends relatives and parents. Always try to stick to facts and not general complaints about the behavior of your spouse, because it is a waste of money to use as a sounding board.

The most important is that you have addressed the control of the situation that should be yours and you can then use their lawyer does most efficient divorce. Tell the divorce lawyer you want good advice and will rely on the experience of the lawyer, but he expects to make decisions that concern the tone and strategy of the case.

Divorce lawyer to inform you that copies of all correspondence relating to the divorce must be sent to you with all information and contact you if they expect a response within one business day. There are cases that can not actually need direct legal representation, but you may want to use the services of a divorce lawyer for advice on legal issues only.

You may decide to conduct extensive research before contacting them is to ask the questions that have not been able to find the answers too. The Divorce lawyer can help develop or marital settlements that his clients have grown, but in this scenario, if all goes as planned, at least you have a divorce lawyer who knows your case.

Divorce Mediation

West Central Queens

The common view, often a misperception, is that men have the short end of the stick when it comes to their rights in divorce cases. The truth is that all cases are different, and there's no easy way to generalize who's going to get what, so to speak. The best action you can take then is protecting yourself in every way possible, and that's by hiring an experienced divorce lawyer for men who can guide you through the process.

So how can a divorce attorney for men help in ways that others may not be able to? First, it's important to clarify we're solely referring to individuals or firms who have a depth of experience and expertise in this, there's no extra classification of attorney you need to find. But with that out of the way, these experienced attorneys will know what to expect, what you should and should not be doing before, during, and after a case, and what kinds of next steps you should be expecting. They are your advocates from start to finish.

In many instances, men go in one of two polar opposite directions in terms of their approach to a divorce. Some may shut down or give up, and just acquiesce to all of the demands of the other party. This certainly isn't recommended, as the main thing you're giving up is your own rights. Be they financial rights, rights to property such as your home, your rights as a parent, and so forth, you need to protect what's in your own personal best interests.

Then another big chunk of men go in the opposite direction. They're going to fight and scratch and claw about every little issue, down to the tiniest of details. All this does is exhaust yourself, fire up the other party, and make things all the more messy and difficult.

An experienced divorce attorney for men will ensure you walk the line between these two extremes. You shouldn't surrender any rights, but you shouldn't fret inconsequential matters. Your attorney will ensure you pick your battles, and pick the right ones specifically, and that you're well-positioned to receive a positive outcome on those ones you are fighting for.

A divorce case is a lot for any person to deal with, male or female. But it's particularly the case for men when they aren't sure if there's any hope, and they think the cards are stacked against them. Be sure to hire a reputable attorney who's licensed in your state, and one who has the requisite experience handling matters like yours in order to try to receive the best possible result.

___________________________________________

Law Office in New York

Child Support Payments in Northwest Queens NYC

Divorce Support System in Northwest Queens

Summary: Divorce support groups can be useful and enormously helpful throughout your emotional phases. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that burden with these divorce support groups.

The road to recovery from any uncomfortable divorce can be disheartening, and it can actually, really be lonely. To ease this forlorn journey of starting fresh, you need a lot of company and inspiration with individuals who would care, people who are much like you, who understands that a little carefully prod will get you on track sooner than you might want to believe.

Divorce support groups can be significantly encouraging and helpful during your psychological phases. Most or all of the members have successfully seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they command these divorce support groups to recover and assist recover the injuries of the most recent members. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that concern with these divorce support groups.

Divorce Care in Northwest Queens

Include a friendly group in Northwest Queens of individuals that satisfy weekly to assist those with divorce problems deal with these obstacles and approach reconstructing lives. Each of the divorce support group session hosts 2 different functions which are the video seminar with professionals where the group will view a video workshop about dealing with divorce issues; and the divorce support system with a focus which will discuss the video discussion and the divorce issues in between the lives of the group members.

How To File For Divorce

Divorce Recovery 101

Another online divorce support system, Divorce Recovery features divorce procedures assist, advise, pointers, divorce law in-depth description, divorce data, and divorce-related information. Read and compare your experiences with the 300 Life-Changing Articles on Divorce Recovery. There are numerous articles about life after divorce too.

Divorce Peers in Northwest Queens

A free access community service website in Northwest Queens, Divorce Peers helps struggling people cope up with the pressures and obstacles purchased up by divorce. Seek the assistance of how to decide on child custody, the financial issues that would expectedly surface, divorce mediation and of course aid in dealing with the effects of divorce.

Divorce Peers in Northwest Queens is developed to accommodate 2 kinds of visitors: those that need aid and those that can give assistance. For those that can provide assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to handle members suffering from divorce.

Divorce Mediation

Summary: Divorce assistance groups can be helpful and tremendously helpful during your emotional stages. The majority of or all of the members in Northwest Queens have actually effectively seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they preside over these divorce assistance groups to assist and recover heal the wounds of the most recent members. You can begin a divorce support group of your own or take part in an existing group. Another online divorce assistance group, Divorce Recovery in Northwest Queens includes divorce proceedings help, encourage ideas, divorce law in-depth description, divorce statistics and divorce associated details. For those that can offer assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to deal with members suffering from divorce.

Family Law

Northwest Queens

Do not expose your family members to mental torture

With the changes in family law over the last 30 years, including the adoption of equitable distribution in place of the old common-law rules, the adoption of laws protecting military spouses, and the adoption of support guidelines and various local rules promulgated within the various circuits, the area of separation and divorce has become much too complicated and specialized for someone who does not regularly handle these types of cases. It distresses us when clients come to us with poorly drafted separation agreements, and/or decrees which other inexperienced attorneys have handled. Just as it is better to win at trial than to have a great appeal issue, it is much better to have the right attorney, one who will get it right the first time, than to have to pay someone to fix problems stemming from errors made in the first place. Sometimes the errors are very costly and cannot be fixed as shown in the series of articles I wrote for The Family Law News, a peer review publication of the Virginia State Bar, Section of Family Law, entitled "Costly Errors in Multi-State Military Divorce; Or a Military Wife's Tale of Woe," which are published in the Fall 2007 and Spring 2008 issues of the publication.

The series of articles outlines the legal authorities, strategy and procedural points we used to successfully defend a military retiree, who was a veteran of the Vietnam War. His ex-wife was attempting to obtain half of his military retired pay and spousal support here in Virginia, despite having divorced him six years earlier in Hawaii. While we are always happy to achieve a successful outcome for our clients, we felt sorry for the ex-wife, who had received poor legal advice from hr attorney in the original divorce action in Hawaii, advice that lead to poor decisions which the Virginia Court found to bind her permanently. In ruling for us in the case, the judge told the ex-wife that instead of suing her ex-husband, show should go after the attorney in Hawaii who represented her in the divorce.

So, how do you go about finding a good divorce lawyer? Here are a few suggestions:

Suggestion #1-Ask a Lawyer

If you know a lawyer, ask him/her for a referral to a good divorce lawyer. He or she will probably know someone or several someones who devote a significant portion of the practice of law to separation and divorce and related issues. For example, I have been handling separation and divorce for 30 years and have an excellent reputation among the local legal community. Any divorce attorney worth his/her salt should have established a reputation among other lawyers. Lawyers generally know who is good for a particular type of case; they certainly know who they would see, if they were facing separation and divorce.

Suggestion #2-Yellow Pages/Internet

While not a great source of information, the Yellow Pages and internet can be a beginning source of attorney names. Lawyers who do not mention separation, divorce, military divorce, and related areas like custody and support or property division, are not seeking cases in those areas and certainly don't devote a significant portion of the practice to those areas. Be leery of ads that include a laundry list of everything under the sun. Remember the old saying, "a jack of all trades and master of none"? Wouldn't you rather have someone who takes the time to focus at least a significant amount of time to family law, than someone who maybe devotes 3% of his/her practice to family law issues? Remember not everyone advertises in the Yellow Pages or haw a website or internet presence.. For example, there are more telephone listings than there are attorney ads in the Yellow Pages.

SUGGESTION # 3-VIRGINIA LAWYER REFERRAL SERVICE

The Virginia Lawyer Referral Service is operated by the Virginia State Bar. Lawyers must ask to get on the list and must agree to a fixed fee for an initial consultation. A lawyer can be listed under any category he/she asks for. The names are on a rotating list and given to consumers who contact the service. Again, not all attorneys are listed. We are not listed with the referral service. This resource can provide the name of an attorney who is seeking family law cases. This does not mean that the attorney is an expert in these types of cases or that he/she is experienced. All it means is that he or she is seeking divorce cases. Be sure to take the questions I talk about here to the attorney interview.

Suggestion #4-Talk to More Than One Attorney

In fact, interview several attorneys. Ask each attorney who else handles separation and divorce in the area. If they won't give you names, leave the office, when you see names showing up on various lists of recommendations, the odds are probably good that the attorney is doing these cases on a regular basis.

Suggestion #5 - Use a Checklist

I have outlined factors that you should consider when selecting a divorce lawyer.

A. Experience. The longer you have been practicing a particular area of the law, the more you know. There is an old adage that says a good lawyer knows the law and a great lawyer knows the judge! What is the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? Experience.

B. Experience Trying Cases. Has he/she achieved any trial successes for his/her clients? Can the lawyer point to case results or client testimonial reflecting his/her abilities?

C. Are they willing to settle when appropriate to do so? Trial attorneys sometimes suffer from a hired gun mentality. They like the thrill of trying cases and may not consider other options, such as mediation or arbitration to achieve a resolution. Most good divorce attorneys do not adopt this approach, but see trial as a last resort, when other options have failed to precipitate a fair resolution of the issues. Unlike other areas of the law, family law often entails ongoing relationships and consequently requires a different perspective. I recently read an article by a personal injury attorney, who was writing on how to choose a personal injury lawyer. He said not to choose a lawyer who settles a lot of cases. When it comes to separation and divorce, I believe it is important to try to reach an agreement, if you can.

Going to court about family law unless you have to is like using a sledge hammer on a flea problem; you may kill a few fleas, but you wreak a lot of damage to the structure of the house, too. When individuals settle their own cases outside of court, they can be a lot more creative than the court would be in fashioning a remedy that is fair to both parties. Sometimes, agreement is just not possible. When that is the case, you want an experienced able divorce attorney who can advocate for your position in court and has a proven track record of success.

D. Respect in the legal community. What are other lawyers saying about this lawyer? Has the lawyer lectured or taught? Has he/she taught other lawyers?

E. Publications. Has he/she written anything that has been accepted for publication in legal journals? This is another sign of respect for the lawyer and for his/her skills and experience. Has he/she written or published anything designed to educate the public as to their rights duties and responsibilities under the law?

F. Affiliations and memberships. What professional affiliations does the attorney have? Is he/she a member of the Family Law Section of the Virginia State Bar Association? A member of the Virginia Trial Lawyers? A fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Attorneys?

G. Does the attorney limit the number of cases he/she undertakes? We don't take every case that calls in or walks through the door. We limit the number of cases that we undertake to handle at a given point in time so that we an focus on doing the best job for those clients.

H. Relationship issues.

1. How was the telephone answered when you called for an appointment?

2. How were you greeted when you entered the office? Were you offered refreshments?

3. Did the attorney and staff listen to you? Are you sure? Could you tell they were listening?

4. Were you interrupted during your time with the lawyer?

5. Does the attorney use written agreements setting out the parameters of the representation and the financial arrangements?

6. One of the most important aspects of choosing a lawyer is the relationship aspect: you need to be able to work effectively and comfortably with your lawyer. The relationship requires intimacy and trust. Do you feel comfortable with the attorney?

7. Were you introduced to staff?

8. How long does the attorney retain files on closed cases? What happens to the closed file? How is it disposed of? What steps does the attorney take to safeguard your confidential information?

I. Why does he/she practice divorce law? Friends and colleagues think I'm crazy to devote so much time to separation and divorce law. They may be right, I just may be a little crazy. But like the song says, "it just may be a lunatic you're looking for." When interviewing a potential divorce lawyer be sure to ask him/her why they choose to practice family law. Does the lawyer have a life experience that allows him/her to advocate for divorce clients with genuine passion? Is that passion something that is reflected in client testimonials?

J. Cost. Unlike personal injury practice, the best divorce lawyers do not offer "free" consultations. You will notice that cost is last on the list. In our experience, the best divorce lawyers are generally not the cheapest. In the long run, what is it worth to you to retain or acquire your fair share of the assets that have been accumulated over the course of your married life? What is it worth to you to insure that you retain your fair share of time with your children? Some things are worth fighting for and worth the price that you have to pay.

If your attorney does not devote a significant portion of his/her practice to family law issues, has never tried a contested divorce, has never tried a contested custody case or who has never tried an equitable distribution case, or drafted a qualified domestic relations order dividing a pension, or who has no experience in military divorce and has never drafted a military retired pay order, you may want to choose another lawyer for your separation and divorce.

Visitation

Separation Lawyer

Northwest Queens

Family law disputes range from complex legal battles to the unchallenged officiating of circumstances. Though aspects may be very simple, and be included in all legal service, others can become heated and highly disputed legal battles lasting many months. While the former may be delivered by any qualified lawyer, it's best to invest in the best family law attorney if you are expecting a fight.

Finding one isn't just a matter of establishing a big budget for your legal battle. In fact, the first step to finding a strong attorney is to take money out of the equation.

Firstly, it's generally not legal or advisable to use your usual family solicitor if they have previously represented any party that you will be fighting against. In the case of family law, this typically represents the other half of a marriage or a child's second custodian. You may, however, ask your solicitor for advice in selecting a strong person to represent you.

Secondly: Choose experience and specialization. Family law encompasses a vast and varied knowledge base. Lawyers will use substantial reference material to help them pursue complex cases, but their overall knowledge and experience with the subject will substantially affect research time and the quality of their results. A lawyer charging an hourly rate which initially seems quite cheap may in fact take many more hours to accomplish the same as a more experienced attorney. Look for experience, specialization and then price, with an aim to balance the three factors.

Budget with your attorney. Most attorneys will be flexible when it comes to formulating payment plans, they are aware that their services can be costly and are sensitive to a clients constraints. Just because you are on a budget does not mean you can't afford an excellent attorney, in fact it may be to your advantage to spend that little bit more. An experienced attorney will prioritize workload based upon your budget and will be able to establish a far more accurate overview of case costs.

To get in touch with an excellent family law divorce lawyer attorney, seek out your local or regional law society or guiding body. These institutions exist, in one form or another, in most western countries and aim to document and accredit genuinely excellent lawyers. That said, you should be wary of false accreditations and ask any prospective lawyers how you might verify their record.

It should be clear by now that finding the best family law attorney does not necessarily mean spending a fortune. In fact, you may find cheaper attorneys ultimately cost more due to extended research time and protracted cases. Ensure that they have a good understanding of the areas of law he may be required to fight, and ask them for an estimation as to the length and complexity of the case they are undertaking.

___________________________________________

Law Office in New York

Child Support Lawyer in Jamaica Queens NYC

Divorce Support System in Jamaica Queens

Summary: Divorce support groups can be useful and enormously helpful throughout your emotional phases. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that burden with these divorce support groups.

The road to recovery from any uncomfortable divorce can be disheartening, and it can actually, really be lonely. To ease this forlorn journey of starting fresh, you need a lot of company and inspiration with individuals who would care, people who are much like you, who understands that a little carefully prod will get you on track sooner than you might want to believe.

Divorce support groups can be significantly encouraging and helpful during your psychological phases. Most or all of the members have successfully seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they command these divorce support groups to recover and assist recover the injuries of the most recent members. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that concern with these divorce support groups.

Divorce Care in Jamaica Queens

Include a friendly group in Jamaica Queens of individuals that satisfy weekly to assist those with divorce problems deal with these obstacles and approach reconstructing lives. Each of the divorce support group session hosts 2 different functions which are the video seminar with professionals where the group will view a video workshop about dealing with divorce issues; and the divorce support system with a focus which will discuss the video discussion and the divorce issues in between the lives of the group members.

Prenuptial Agreement

Divorce Recovery 101

Another online divorce support system, Divorce Recovery features divorce procedures assist, advise, pointers, divorce law in-depth description, divorce data, and divorce-related information. Read and compare your experiences with the 300 Life-Changing Articles on Divorce Recovery. There are numerous articles about life after divorce too.

Divorce Peers in Jamaica Queens

A free access community service website in Jamaica Queens, Divorce Peers helps struggling people cope up with the pressures and obstacles purchased up by divorce. Seek the assistance of how to decide on child custody, the financial issues that would expectedly surface, divorce mediation and of course aid in dealing with the effects of divorce.

Divorce Peers in Jamaica Queens is developed to accommodate 2 kinds of visitors: those that need aid and those that can give assistance. For those that can provide assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to handle members suffering from divorce.

Family Court

Summary: Divorce assistance groups can be helpful and tremendously helpful during your emotional stages. The majority of or all of the members in Jamaica Queens have actually effectively seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they preside over these divorce assistance groups to assist and recover heal the wounds of the most recent members. You can begin a divorce support group of your own or take part in an existing group. Another online divorce assistance group, Divorce Recovery in Jamaica Queens includes divorce proceedings help, encourage ideas, divorce law in-depth description, divorce statistics and divorce associated details. For those that can offer assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to deal with members suffering from divorce.

Separation

Jamaica Queens

Do not expose your family members to mental torture

With the changes in family law over the last 30 years, including the adoption of equitable distribution in place of the old common-law rules, the adoption of laws protecting military spouses, and the adoption of support guidelines and various local rules promulgated within the various circuits, the area of separation and divorce has become much too complicated and specialized for someone who does not regularly handle these types of cases. It distresses us when clients come to us with poorly drafted separation agreements, and/or decrees which other inexperienced attorneys have handled. Just as it is better to win at trial than to have a great appeal issue, it is much better to have the right attorney, one who will get it right the first time, than to have to pay someone to fix problems stemming from errors made in the first place. Sometimes the errors are very costly and cannot be fixed as shown in the series of articles I wrote for The Family Law News, a peer review publication of the Virginia State Bar, Section of Family Law, entitled "Costly Errors in Multi-State Military Divorce; Or a Military Wife's Tale of Woe," which are published in the Fall 2007 and Spring 2008 issues of the publication.

The series of articles outlines the legal authorities, strategy and procedural points we used to successfully defend a military retiree, who was a veteran of the Vietnam War. His ex-wife was attempting to obtain half of his military retired pay and spousal support here in Virginia, despite having divorced him six years earlier in Hawaii. While we are always happy to achieve a successful outcome for our clients, we felt sorry for the ex-wife, who had received poor legal advice from hr attorney in the original divorce action in Hawaii, advice that lead to poor decisions which the Virginia Court found to bind her permanently. In ruling for us in the case, the judge told the ex-wife that instead of suing her ex-husband, show should go after the attorney in Hawaii who represented her in the divorce.

So, how do you go about finding a good divorce lawyer? Here are a few suggestions:

Suggestion #1-Ask a Lawyer

If you know a lawyer, ask him/her for a referral to a good divorce lawyer. He or she will probably know someone or several someones who devote a significant portion of the practice of law to separation and divorce and related issues. For example, I have been handling separation and divorce for 30 years and have an excellent reputation among the local legal community. Any divorce attorney worth his/her salt should have established a reputation among other lawyers. Lawyers generally know who is good for a particular type of case; they certainly know who they would see, if they were facing separation and divorce.

Suggestion #2-Yellow Pages/Internet

While not a great source of information, the Yellow Pages and internet can be a beginning source of attorney names. Lawyers who do not mention separation, divorce, military divorce, and related areas like custody and support or property division, are not seeking cases in those areas and certainly don't devote a significant portion of the practice to those areas. Be leery of ads that include a laundry list of everything under the sun. Remember the old saying, "a jack of all trades and master of none"? Wouldn't you rather have someone who takes the time to focus at least a significant amount of time to family law, than someone who maybe devotes 3% of his/her practice to family law issues? Remember not everyone advertises in the Yellow Pages or haw a website or internet presence.. For example, there are more telephone listings than there are attorney ads in the Yellow Pages.

SUGGESTION # 3-VIRGINIA LAWYER REFERRAL SERVICE

The Virginia Lawyer Referral Service is operated by the Virginia State Bar. Lawyers must ask to get on the list and must agree to a fixed fee for an initial consultation. A lawyer can be listed under any category he/she asks for. The names are on a rotating list and given to consumers who contact the service. Again, not all attorneys are listed. We are not listed with the referral service. This resource can provide the name of an attorney who is seeking family law cases. This does not mean that the attorney is an expert in these types of cases or that he/she is experienced. All it means is that he or she is seeking divorce cases. Be sure to take the questions I talk about here to the attorney interview.

Suggestion #4-Talk to More Than One Attorney

In fact, interview several attorneys. Ask each attorney who else handles separation and divorce in the area. If they won't give you names, leave the office, when you see names showing up on various lists of recommendations, the odds are probably good that the attorney is doing these cases on a regular basis.

Suggestion #5 - Use a Checklist

I have outlined factors that you should consider when selecting a divorce lawyer.

A. Experience. The longer you have been practicing a particular area of the law, the more you know. There is an old adage that says a good lawyer knows the law and a great lawyer knows the judge! What is the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? Experience.

B. Experience Trying Cases. Has he/she achieved any trial successes for his/her clients? Can the lawyer point to case results or client testimonial reflecting his/her abilities?

C. Are they willing to settle when appropriate to do so? Trial attorneys sometimes suffer from a hired gun mentality. They like the thrill of trying cases and may not consider other options, such as mediation or arbitration to achieve a resolution. Most good divorce attorneys do not adopt this approach, but see trial as a last resort, when other options have failed to precipitate a fair resolution of the issues. Unlike other areas of the law, family law often entails ongoing relationships and consequently requires a different perspective. I recently read an article by a personal injury attorney, who was writing on how to choose a personal injury lawyer. He said not to choose a lawyer who settles a lot of cases. When it comes to separation and divorce, I believe it is important to try to reach an agreement, if you can.

Going to court about family law unless you have to is like using a sledge hammer on a flea problem; you may kill a few fleas, but you wreak a lot of damage to the structure of the house, too. When individuals settle their own cases outside of court, they can be a lot more creative than the court would be in fashioning a remedy that is fair to both parties. Sometimes, agreement is just not possible. When that is the case, you want an experienced able divorce attorney who can advocate for your position in court and has a proven track record of success.

D. Respect in the legal community. What are other lawyers saying about this lawyer? Has the lawyer lectured or taught? Has he/she taught other lawyers?

E. Publications. Has he/she written anything that has been accepted for publication in legal journals? This is another sign of respect for the lawyer and for his/her skills and experience. Has he/she written or published anything designed to educate the public as to their rights duties and responsibilities under the law?

F. Affiliations and memberships. What professional affiliations does the attorney have? Is he/she a member of the Family Law Section of the Virginia State Bar Association? A member of the Virginia Trial Lawyers? A fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Attorneys?

G. Does the attorney limit the number of cases he/she undertakes? We don't take every case that calls in or walks through the door. We limit the number of cases that we undertake to handle at a given point in time so that we an focus on doing the best job for those clients.

H. Relationship issues.

1. How was the telephone answered when you called for an appointment?

2. How were you greeted when you entered the office? Were you offered refreshments?

3. Did the attorney and staff listen to you? Are you sure? Could you tell they were listening?

4. Were you interrupted during your time with the lawyer?

5. Does the attorney use written agreements setting out the parameters of the representation and the financial arrangements?

6. One of the most important aspects of choosing a lawyer is the relationship aspect: you need to be able to work effectively and comfortably with your lawyer. The relationship requires intimacy and trust. Do you feel comfortable with the attorney?

7. Were you introduced to staff?

8. How long does the attorney retain files on closed cases? What happens to the closed file? How is it disposed of? What steps does the attorney take to safeguard your confidential information?

I. Why does he/she practice divorce law? Friends and colleagues think I'm crazy to devote so much time to separation and divorce law. They may be right, I just may be a little crazy. But like the song says, "it just may be a lunatic you're looking for." When interviewing a potential divorce lawyer be sure to ask him/her why they choose to practice family law. Does the lawyer have a life experience that allows him/her to advocate for divorce clients with genuine passion? Is that passion something that is reflected in client testimonials?

J. Cost. Unlike personal injury practice, the best divorce lawyers do not offer "free" consultations. You will notice that cost is last on the list. In our experience, the best divorce lawyers are generally not the cheapest. In the long run, what is it worth to you to retain or acquire your fair share of the assets that have been accumulated over the course of your married life? What is it worth to you to insure that you retain your fair share of time with your children? Some things are worth fighting for and worth the price that you have to pay.

If your attorney does not devote a significant portion of his/her practice to family law issues, has never tried a contested divorce, has never tried a contested custody case or who has never tried an equitable distribution case, or drafted a qualified domestic relations order dividing a pension, or who has no experience in military divorce and has never drafted a military retired pay order, you may want to choose another lawyer for your separation and divorce.

Common Law Marriage

Finding the Best Household Legislation Divorce Lawyer & & Lawyer

Jamaica Queens

Consider a primary relationship in your life where you like somebody and they love you. This could be an intimate collaboration, a child-parent relationship or a really close friendship. Here are the two things to prevent, if you wish to make sure love is present at all times.

Relationship killer #1:

Firstly, you should never expect that because someone loves you, they need to sacrifice themselves for you and put your needs first. We often mistakenly think that the degree to which someone suffers is a testimony for the amount of love they have for us. Likewise, we mistakenly believe that if someone puts their needs first, they don't love us. But that is not true at all. If I refuse to sacrifice myself for you, it doesn't mean I don't love you. It simply means I am clear on what works for me and what doesn't, and I don't mess with my own needs. Please don't take this personal. I love you nonetheless, but I certainly don't have to suffer in order to prove my love for you. Besides, if you doubt it, chances are no matter how much I suffer, you will never believe me anyway. Get this: your partner having fun while you are in hardship doesn't mean they don't love you. The people who love you don't owe you any suffering on their part whenever things are not working out for you. So don't be jealous when your loved one is out with friends while you are working hard or cooking alone at home. No one needs to put their own life on hold only because yours is (even when they truly love you!). Of course, you can ask for support. That's perfectly reasonable. But asking someone to sacrifice themselves and to suffer so you can feel loved - that is totally unreasonable. And it is a sure relationship killer.

Relationship killer #2:

The other way to kill a relationship is by trying to prove your love for someone by sacrificing your own needs and suffering as a consequence. See, whenever you suffer, there is no real love to speak of. If you were doing something for someone because you wanted to and because you loved them unconditionally, you wouldn't be suffering. But if you sacrifice yourself out of obligation and/or guilt, the unconditional love is gone and you are likely to expect something in return. In other words, you try to manipulate someone into loving you back by doing things for them which they then have to repay you for. Sadly enough, you are playing a game thinking you can control someone else's feelings and buy their love. Of course, the result is just the opposite - you are slowly but surely killing the relationship. So stop that immediately by starting to put yourself and your needs first. Find your own truth and start honoring it. Understand that you are allowed to have a good time without feeling guilty when your partner does not want to or cannot participate. Of course, you can support them when they are feeling low. But you don't have to suffer with them or else you will become resentful and kill the relationship as a result.

In conclusion:

 

  • Love should be free - no attachments, no suffering, no trading of favors, and no feelings of obligation and guilt.
  • Love should be independent - I love you and I put myself first; you love me and you put yourself first; we love each other and we honor our independent needs nonetheless.
  • Love should be by choice - I love you how I want to, not how I feel have to.

___________________________________________

Law Office in New York

Visitation in Central Queens NYC

Divorce Support System in Central Queens

Summary: Divorce support groups can be useful and enormously helpful throughout your emotional phases. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that burden with these divorce support groups.

The road to recovery from any uncomfortable divorce can be disheartening, and it can actually, really be lonely. To ease this forlorn journey of starting fresh, you need a lot of company and inspiration with individuals who would care, people who are much like you, who understands that a little carefully prod will get you on track sooner than you might want to believe.

Divorce support groups can be significantly encouraging and helpful during your psychological phases. Most or all of the members have successfully seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they command these divorce support groups to recover and assist recover the injuries of the most recent members. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that concern with these divorce support groups.

Divorce Care in Central Queens

Include a friendly group in Central Queens of individuals that satisfy weekly to assist those with divorce problems deal with these obstacles and approach reconstructing lives. Each of the divorce support group session hosts 2 different functions which are the video seminar with professionals where the group will view a video workshop about dealing with divorce issues; and the divorce support system with a focus which will discuss the video discussion and the divorce issues in between the lives of the group members.

Attorney At Law

Divorce Recovery 101

Another online divorce support system, Divorce Recovery features divorce procedures assist, advise, pointers, divorce law in-depth description, divorce data, and divorce-related information. Read and compare your experiences with the 300 Life-Changing Articles on Divorce Recovery. There are numerous articles about life after divorce too.

Divorce Peers in Central Queens

A free access community service website in Central Queens, Divorce Peers helps struggling people cope up with the pressures and obstacles purchased up by divorce. Seek the assistance of how to decide on child custody, the financial issues that would expectedly surface, divorce mediation and of course aid in dealing with the effects of divorce.

Divorce Peers in Central Queens is developed to accommodate 2 kinds of visitors: those that need aid and those that can give assistance. For those that can provide assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to handle members suffering from divorce.

Divorce Lawyers

Summary: Divorce assistance groups can be helpful and tremendously helpful during your emotional stages. The majority of or all of the members in Central Queens have actually effectively seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they preside over these divorce assistance groups to assist and recover heal the wounds of the most recent members. You can begin a divorce support group of your own or take part in an existing group. Another online divorce assistance group, Divorce Recovery in Central Queens includes divorce proceedings help, encourage ideas, divorce law in-depth description, divorce statistics and divorce associated details. For those that can offer assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to deal with members suffering from divorce.

Divorce Lawyers

Central Queens

Do not expose your family members to mental torture

If you are looking for divorce lawyer should ensure that he or she has the right attitude for the task, they are reliable and above all, an expert in the field. Regarding experience, should be able to demonstrate that at least half of their work involves divorce and have the bargaining power of divorce as well. Your lawyer should be someone you trust and work comfortably, someone who has their confidence.

Divorce lawyers who tend to follow the path of mediation is to give good advice to pay, but you may need a lawyer who is familiar with the localities courtroom. To get the most from your divorce lawyer and save money when you need to talk to them, be well prepared and I wrote everything, but do not waste your money by asking questions whose answers are available.

The plan of each conversation to a program, write the things I mean, take notes on the content of the conversation, track time spent on all phone calls and meetings. Try to keep the actual meetings, as a minimum and where points have to be removed, using the phone or send a letter.

Your lawyer is your advice to both predictable that any legal action, but try not to count on them for anything but what you pay if you need a shoulder to cry on, you'd better talk with friends relatives and parents. Always try to stick to facts and not general complaints about the behavior of your spouse, because it is a waste of money to use as a sounding board.

The most important is that you have addressed the control of the situation that should be yours and you can then use their lawyer does most efficient divorce. Tell the divorce lawyer you want good advice and will rely on the experience of the lawyer, but he expects to make decisions that concern the tone and strategy of the case.

Divorce lawyer to inform you that copies of all correspondence relating to the divorce must be sent to you with all information and contact you if they expect a response within one business day. There are cases that can not actually need direct legal representation, but you may want to use the services of a divorce lawyer for advice on legal issues only.

You may decide to conduct extensive research before contacting them is to ask the questions that have not been able to find the answers too. The Divorce lawyer can help develop or marital settlements that his clients have grown, but in this scenario, if all goes as planned, at least you have a divorce lawyer who knows your case.

Civil Law

Separation Lawyer - Exactly How to Choose One

Central Queens

Consider a primary relationship in your life where you like somebody and they love you. This could be an intimate collaboration, a child-parent relationship or a really close friendship. Here are the two things to prevent, if you wish to make sure love is present at all times.

Relationship killer #1:

Firstly, you should never expect that because someone loves you, they need to sacrifice themselves for you and put your needs first. We often mistakenly think that the degree to which someone suffers is a testimony for the amount of love they have for us. Likewise, we mistakenly believe that if someone puts their needs first, they don't love us. But that is not true at all. If I refuse to sacrifice myself for you, it doesn't mean I don't love you. It simply means I am clear on what works for me and what doesn't, and I don't mess with my own needs. Please don't take this personal. I love you nonetheless, but I certainly don't have to suffer in order to prove my love for you. Besides, if you doubt it, chances are no matter how much I suffer, you will never believe me anyway. Get this: your partner having fun while you are in hardship doesn't mean they don't love you. The people who love you don't owe you any suffering on their part whenever things are not working out for you. So don't be jealous when your loved one is out with friends while you are working hard or cooking alone at home. No one needs to put their own life on hold only because yours is (even when they truly love you!). Of course, you can ask for support. That's perfectly reasonable. But asking someone to sacrifice themselves and to suffer so you can feel loved - that is totally unreasonable. And it is a sure relationship killer.

Relationship killer #2:

The other way to kill a relationship is by trying to prove your love for someone by sacrificing your own needs and suffering as a consequence. See, whenever you suffer, there is no real love to speak of. If you were doing something for someone because you wanted to and because you loved them unconditionally, you wouldn't be suffering. But if you sacrifice yourself out of obligation and/or guilt, the unconditional love is gone and you are likely to expect something in return. In other words, you try to manipulate someone into loving you back by doing things for them which they then have to repay you for. Sadly enough, you are playing a game thinking you can control someone else's feelings and buy their love. Of course, the result is just the opposite - you are slowly but surely killing the relationship. So stop that immediately by starting to put yourself and your needs first. Find your own truth and start honoring it. Understand that you are allowed to have a good time without feeling guilty when your partner does not want to or cannot participate. Of course, you can support them when they are feeling low. But you don't have to suffer with them or else you will become resentful and kill the relationship as a result.

In conclusion:

 

  • Love should be free - no attachments, no suffering, no trading of favors, and no feelings of obligation and guilt.
  • Love should be independent - I love you and I put myself first; you love me and you put yourself first; we love each other and we honor our independent needs nonetheless.
  • Love should be by choice - I love you how I want to, not how I feel have to.

___________________________________________

Law Office in New York

Visitation in North Queens NYC

Divorce Support System in North Queens

Summary: Divorce support groups can be useful and enormously helpful throughout your emotional phases. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that burden with these divorce support groups.

The road to recovery from any uncomfortable divorce can be disheartening, and it can actually, really be lonely. To ease this forlorn journey of starting fresh, you need a lot of company and inspiration with individuals who would care, people who are much like you, who understands that a little carefully prod will get you on track sooner than you might want to believe.

Divorce support groups can be significantly encouraging and helpful during your psychological phases. Most or all of the members have successfully seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they command these divorce support groups to recover and assist recover the injuries of the most recent members. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that concern with these divorce support groups.

Divorce Care in North Queens

Include a friendly group in North Queens of individuals that satisfy weekly to assist those with divorce problems deal with these obstacles and approach reconstructing lives. Each of the divorce support group session hosts 2 different functions which are the video seminar with professionals where the group will view a video workshop about dealing with divorce issues; and the divorce support system with a focus which will discuss the video discussion and the divorce issues in between the lives of the group members.

Child Support Lawyer

Divorce Recovery 101

Another online divorce support system, Divorce Recovery features divorce procedures assist, advise, pointers, divorce law in-depth description, divorce data, and divorce-related information. Read and compare your experiences with the 300 Life-Changing Articles on Divorce Recovery. There are numerous articles about life after divorce too.

Divorce Peers in North Queens

A free access community service website in North Queens, Divorce Peers helps struggling people cope up with the pressures and obstacles purchased up by divorce. Seek the assistance of how to decide on child custody, the financial issues that would expectedly surface, divorce mediation and of course aid in dealing with the effects of divorce.

Divorce Peers in North Queens is developed to accommodate 2 kinds of visitors: those that need aid and those that can give assistance. For those that can provide assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to handle members suffering from divorce.

Annulment

Summary: Divorce assistance groups can be helpful and tremendously helpful during your emotional stages. The majority of or all of the members in North Queens have actually effectively seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they preside over these divorce assistance groups to assist and recover heal the wounds of the most recent members. You can begin a divorce support group of your own or take part in an existing group. Another online divorce assistance group, Divorce Recovery in North Queens includes divorce proceedings help, encourage ideas, divorce law in-depth description, divorce statistics and divorce associated details. For those that can offer assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to deal with members suffering from divorce.

Gaurdian

North Queens

Do not expose your family members to mental torture

I recently overheard someone in a bookstore telling a group of people why they should not have their own attorneys, how they could not trust lawyers, how lawyers would cheat them and how they should rely upon the company the speaker belonged to instead. That conversation got me thinking about why people facing separation and divorce need not just any lawyer, but a good divorce lawyer.

Reason #1-What You need to know

You need to know your rights, duties and responsibilities under the law. Only a lawyer who has been retained to represent your interests can advise you. How can you realistically discuss financial arrangements in separating and divorcing, if you don't know what your rights, duties and responsibilities are? Not knowing what your rights are can result in not getting your fair share of assets, your fair share of support or your fair share of time with your children. Not knowing what your duties and responsibilities are can result in your paying more than your fair share of assets or your fair share of support. Most attorneys offer a special reduced rate for consulting services to encourage people to get advice early and often. There is no reason to rely on backyard fence advice, when you can get real advice from a qualified experienced divorce lawyer for a reasonable fee. Furthermore, in my experience, the backyard fence advice is usually wrong. Remember that if what you hear is half true, it is still wrong.

Reason #2-Backyard Advice

My friend is divorced. Why can't I rely on my friend's experience and knowledge. Well, you could do that but what you need to realize is that unless your friend is a licensed attorney, he/she is not authorized to practice law. Your friend's knowledge will be limited to his/her particular experience. His/her experience with the law is limited to the facts of his/her case and the law as it was at the time. Things change. The law changes. Any change in the facts will change the outcome or advice. Furthermore, changes in the law will change the advice. Your friend simply lacks the knowledge and experience to give sound practical legal advice.

Reason #3-Identifying Issues

The sooner you get a lawyer, the sooner you will learn what you need to know to protect yourself (and your children and property interests). Sometimes people have no idea how to go about identifying the issues they need to discuss, even if the separation is an amicable one and the parties anticipate a "friendly divorce." A good, experienced divorce lawyer can assist you in identifying the issues you need to discuss with your spouse to achieve a comprehensive agreement and global settlement. Over the years there have been numerous times when we were able to point out to clients areas they had initially overlooked and issues which should be included in their settlement discussions, such as life insurance, health insurance, and children's educational needs.

Reason #4-To Share or Not to Share?

My spouse already has an attorney. Do I really need to get one too? Can't the same lawyer represent us both? The answer is no, not really. 30 years ago when I first began practicing law, it was strictly forbidden for a lawyer to represent both sides to a divorce, no matter how "friendly" it was. There are some limited circumstances in which dual representation might be allowed, provided there is full disclosure of potential conflicts of interest and a waiver of conflicts with informed consent by both parties. These situations are limited and in the event that unhappy differences or disputes should arise, the attorney must end the representation and both parties must seek new counsel. Frankly, we rarely if ever agree to dual representation. We represent our clients zealously within the bounds of the law and the conflicts in representing opposing sides are too apparent for us to agree to do so. Not only that, but if your spouse has a lawyer, that means that he/she has already sought legal advice and has some rudimentary knowledge of his/her rights, duties and responsibilities under the law.

Someone once said knowledge is power. Would you rather be the one with the knowledge (and the power) or the one without knowledge? How trusting can you be of your spouse or his/her attorney in the circumstances? Remember that your spouse's attorney already represents your spouse. In our experience, spouses, especially those who tend to be controlling will think nothing of misrepresenting the law to gain advantage in the negotiation. Recently a client told me that her husband who remains in the marital home told her that she was now his "landlord" and therefore she could not re-enter the home without his consent and presence and that his lawyer said so. Needless to say, everything he told her was wrong. Her husband also told our client that they did not need to use lawyers and could reach an agreement on their own without lawyers. He also said that if she insisted on having her attorney review paperwork before she signed it that he would find something to disagree with on each draft to drive up her costs. Clearly he was trying to manipulate, intimidate and control his wife, who was wise to seek her own independent counsel from a knowledgeable, experienced divorce attorney.

Reason #5-Do You Feel Lucky?

Going to a court hearing in a pending divorce without a lawyer is like playing Russian Roulette. How lucky do you think you are? Would you perform surgery on yourself or would you seek out a qualified surgeon? Why do you think that you know enough to represent yourself in court? Do you know what your rights, duties and responsibilities are? The judge won't help you out if you don't know what you are doing. There are rules of evidence and rules of procedure that govern hearings. You need someone on your team that knows the rules of the game. You will need someone to prepare you for your testimony in court so that you don't put your feet in your mouth up to your hip bone. You will be bound by the things that come out of your mouth in court. Recently we spoke to a man who incurred spousal and child support obligations of $4000 per month. The court issued an order based on erroneous exhibits filed by his wife's attorney and based upon things he said in open court as to his income which were not accurate. A skilled trial attorney can get you to say things that you don't mean to say, especially if you have not been prepared for your testimony.

Reason #6-Too Little, Too Late

Going to see a lawyer after you have already signed papers or participated in depositions or hearings pro se (representing yourself) is like closing the barn door, after the cow got out. Just because you were not represented does not mean that you can get out of a bad decision or bad deal you may have made or get out of rulings the court made when you were unrepresented. The time to get advice is before you sign. The time to get advice is before you go to court. In fact, you should get advice as soon as you receive legal notice of a pending lawsuit against you.

If you are reading this and you have already signed papers, you should still consult with a good experienced divorce attorney to have the papers explained to you and to review t he papers to see if there are any loopholes that may be used to renegotiate terms move favorably to you or to insist upon "clarification" of the agreement. The attorney can also explain the consequences of having signed the paperwork.

If you are reading this and you are in the midst of a divorce action and have been to depositions on your own, you should seek an immediate consultation with a good experienced divorce attorney to see if there is any legal basis to suppress the depositions. Be sure to take all of your documents with you to the consultation. We have seen situations where it was possible to reopen a case for a client because the depositions were taken too early. In such situations, the depositions were quashed by filing the appropriate papers under the rules of court. In your case it may be too late to do anything, but you should at least talk to a divorce attorney right away to be sure.

Reason #7-Isn't a Lawyer a Lawyer? (A Rose by Any Other Name...)

I know a lawyer who did the closing on our house. Can't I go to him/her for advice about separation and divorce? Yes, you could but there is a saying that if the blind lead the blind, they both fall in a ditch. Would you go to a podiatrist (foot doctor) if you had an eye infection? You could; after all, the podiatrist went to medical school and learned about the body, including the eyes. The questions are how much, if anything does he/she remember, is he/she current on the medical literature pertaining to the eye and infection, including the diagnosis and treatment of the eye? I have seen horrendous separation agreements prepared by lawyers who do not devote at least a significant portion of their practice to family law but were trying to accommodate a friend or relation in their time of need. Actually a lawyer should decline a case, if he/she does not believe that he/she has the knowledge and experience to handle it or that he/she is not willing to acquire the knowledge necessary to handle it.

It takes a significant amount of time to keep up with all of the changes in the law that affect separation and divorce. Think about it. Every week somewhere there is a court, either federal or state making a decision that could affect your situation. Every week that the legislature is in session, whether Congress or the General Assembly, they make decisions that could affect your situation. An experienced divorce attorney should make it a point to review new cases and statutes looking for those that affect family law practice; all of the best family lawyers do.

Reason #8-Prepaid Legal?

If you have paid for this service, then certainly you can talk to one of the participating attorneys. But unless the attorney is an experienced divorce lawyer with a significant portion of his/her practice devoted to separation and divorce and related issues, you should give serious consideration to looking outside of your prepaid plan. Has the lawyer written any books or articles on separation, divorce or related issues that are published? I am not a participating attorney in a pre paid legal plan. The best divorce lawyers are not participants in "prepaid" legal. To my knowledge there are no fellows (members) of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers who participate in pre paid legal services plans. If you are reading this report and have personal knowledge of an attorney who belongs to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and also belongs to a pre paid legal plan, please email us at valawtalk@justice.com to report the name of the attorney so that we can verify the information and update this report.

Think about what is at stake; the custody and support of your children, and the division of assets you may have worked your entire married life to accumulate, including your home, pension, savings, military retirement and/or 401K. Do you really want to cut corners when it comes to your kids? Your home? Your pension? Your retirement?

Reason #9-A Ship Needs a Navigator

If you think of your legal case as a ship, the client is the captain of the ship and the client's attorney is the navigator. The navigator doesn't decide where to go, but he/she does map out the best course to arrive at the destination. Divorce is difficult, even "friendly" divorce is not easy. It can be an emotional rollercoaster. You need emotional, psychological and legal support. In choosing to separate and divorce, you will be faced with important decisions that will affect you, your spouse and your children not only now but in the foreseeable future. Passions can run hot during this difficult time and you need a clear head. You need a team of individuals including someone knowledgeable in separation and divorce law to help you see clearly and navigate the difficult and sometimes angry waters of separation and divorce.

Not having a good divorce lawyer at the planning and separation stage leaves you without the sound advice and rational third party perspective you need to make decisions which can bind you for life. Not having a good divorce lawyer at the divorce stage leaves you without the knowledge, experience and advocacy of a good experienced divorce attorney. It leaves you at the mercy of your spouse and your spouse's attorney. Neither your spouse nor his/her attorney is there to show you mercy. You need someone to fight for you when you cannot fight for yourself. You need someone to help you understand what is gong on and how to act in the storm.

You need someone who can help you to be pro-active and not simply re-active to steps that your spouse takes. You want a team to support you, a team which can and should include your pastor, rabbi or spiritual advisor, your CPA or tax advisor, extended family, friends and a good experienced divorce attorney.

Reason #10-You Need an Advocate

You are going through a traumatic experience. Divorce is one of the most difficult experiences in life, second only to the death of a spouse. You need someone who understands what is at stake and will advocate for your interests with not only knowledge and experience but passion and feeling. When you interview attorneys, find out why they practice family law and what motivates them in advocating for clients. What is it that makes them passionate advocates? I recently spoke with another trial attorney who does not generally handle divorce work. He usually handles criminal and traffic defense and civil suits for money damages; he told me that he was forced by the poor economy to take a contested divorce case. Divorce and family law are not his first choice of trial work. He is doing it now solely for the money. Is that the motivation you would want in your attorney? Or would you rather have a lawyer who has made a conscious decsion to focus on family law and uses his/her life experience such as knowing what it is like to be a child of divorce to relate to the circumstances of your case and to advocate for you with passion and conviction?

Civil Law

Just how to Work With a Divorce Lawyer

North Queens

Family law disputes range from complex legal battles to the unchallenged officiating of circumstances. Though aspects may be very simple, and be included in all legal service, others can become heated and highly disputed legal battles lasting many months. While the former may be delivered by any qualified lawyer, it's best to invest in the best family law attorney if you are expecting a fight.

Finding one isn't just a matter of establishing a big budget for your legal battle. In fact, the first step to finding a strong attorney is to take money out of the equation.

Firstly, it's generally not legal or advisable to use your usual family solicitor if they have previously represented any party that you will be fighting against. In the case of family law, this typically represents the other half of a marriage or a child's second custodian. You may, however, ask your solicitor for advice in selecting a strong person to represent you.

Secondly: Choose experience and specialization. Family law encompasses a vast and varied knowledge base. Lawyers will use substantial reference material to help them pursue complex cases, but their overall knowledge and experience with the subject will substantially affect research time and the quality of their results. A lawyer charging an hourly rate which initially seems quite cheap may in fact take many more hours to accomplish the same as a more experienced attorney. Look for experience, specialization and then price, with an aim to balance the three factors.

Budget with your attorney. Most attorneys will be flexible when it comes to formulating payment plans, they are aware that their services can be costly and are sensitive to a clients constraints. Just because you are on a budget does not mean you can't afford an excellent attorney, in fact it may be to your advantage to spend that little bit more. An experienced attorney will prioritize workload based upon your budget and will be able to establish a far more accurate overview of case costs.

To get in touch with an excellent family law divorce lawyer attorney, seek out your local or regional law society or guiding body. These institutions exist, in one form or another, in most western countries and aim to document and accredit genuinely excellent lawyers. That said, you should be wary of false accreditations and ask any prospective lawyers how you might verify their record.

It should be clear by now that finding the best family law attorney does not necessarily mean spending a fortune. In fact, you may find cheaper attorneys ultimately cost more due to extended research time and protracted cases. Ensure that they have a good understanding of the areas of law he may be required to fight, and ask them for an estimation as to the length and complexity of the case they are undertaking.

___________________________________________

Law Office in New York

Dissolution in Northeast Queens NYC

Divorce Support System in Northeast Queens

Summary: Divorce support groups can be useful and enormously helpful throughout your emotional phases. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that burden with these divorce support groups.

The road to recovery from any uncomfortable divorce can be disheartening, and it can actually, really be lonely. To ease this forlorn journey of starting fresh, you need a lot of company and inspiration with individuals who would care, people who are much like you, who understands that a little carefully prod will get you on track sooner than you might want to believe.

Divorce support groups can be significantly encouraging and helpful during your psychological phases. Most or all of the members have successfully seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they command these divorce support groups to recover and assist recover the injuries of the most recent members. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that concern with these divorce support groups.

Divorce Care in Northeast Queens

Include a friendly group in Northeast Queens of individuals that satisfy weekly to assist those with divorce problems deal with these obstacles and approach reconstructing lives. Each of the divorce support group session hosts 2 different functions which are the video seminar with professionals where the group will view a video workshop about dealing with divorce issues; and the divorce support system with a focus which will discuss the video discussion and the divorce issues in between the lives of the group members.

Attorney

Divorce Recovery 101

Another online divorce support system, Divorce Recovery features divorce procedures assist, advise, pointers, divorce law in-depth description, divorce data, and divorce-related information. Read and compare your experiences with the 300 Life-Changing Articles on Divorce Recovery. There are numerous articles about life after divorce too.

Divorce Peers in Northeast Queens

A free access community service website in Northeast Queens, Divorce Peers helps struggling people cope up with the pressures and obstacles purchased up by divorce. Seek the assistance of how to decide on child custody, the financial issues that would expectedly surface, divorce mediation and of course aid in dealing with the effects of divorce.

Divorce Peers in Northeast Queens is developed to accommodate 2 kinds of visitors: those that need aid and those that can give assistance. For those that can provide assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to handle members suffering from divorce.

Child Support Payments

Summary: Divorce assistance groups can be helpful and tremendously helpful during your emotional stages. The majority of or all of the members in Northeast Queens have actually effectively seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they preside over these divorce assistance groups to assist and recover heal the wounds of the most recent members. You can begin a divorce support group of your own or take part in an existing group. Another online divorce assistance group, Divorce Recovery in Northeast Queens includes divorce proceedings help, encourage ideas, divorce law in-depth description, divorce statistics and divorce associated details. For those that can offer assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to deal with members suffering from divorce.

Child Support Calculator

Northeast Queens

Do not expose your family members to mental torture

I recently overheard someone in a bookstore telling a group of people why they should not have their own attorneys, how they could not trust lawyers, how lawyers would cheat them and how they should rely upon the company the speaker belonged to instead. That conversation got me thinking about why people facing separation and divorce need not just any lawyer, but a good divorce lawyer.

Reason #1-What You need to know

You need to know your rights, duties and responsibilities under the law. Only a lawyer who has been retained to represent your interests can advise you. How can you realistically discuss financial arrangements in separating and divorcing, if you don't know what your rights, duties and responsibilities are? Not knowing what your rights are can result in not getting your fair share of assets, your fair share of support or your fair share of time with your children. Not knowing what your duties and responsibilities are can result in your paying more than your fair share of assets or your fair share of support. Most attorneys offer a special reduced rate for consulting services to encourage people to get advice early and often. There is no reason to rely on backyard fence advice, when you can get real advice from a qualified experienced divorce lawyer for a reasonable fee. Furthermore, in my experience, the backyard fence advice is usually wrong. Remember that if what you hear is half true, it is still wrong.

Reason #2-Backyard Advice

My friend is divorced. Why can't I rely on my friend's experience and knowledge. Well, you could do that but what you need to realize is that unless your friend is a licensed attorney, he/she is not authorized to practice law. Your friend's knowledge will be limited to his/her particular experience. His/her experience with the law is limited to the facts of his/her case and the law as it was at the time. Things change. The law changes. Any change in the facts will change the outcome or advice. Furthermore, changes in the law will change the advice. Your friend simply lacks the knowledge and experience to give sound practical legal advice.

Reason #3-Identifying Issues

The sooner you get a lawyer, the sooner you will learn what you need to know to protect yourself (and your children and property interests). Sometimes people have no idea how to go about identifying the issues they need to discuss, even if the separation is an amicable one and the parties anticipate a "friendly divorce." A good, experienced divorce lawyer can assist you in identifying the issues you need to discuss with your spouse to achieve a comprehensive agreement and global settlement. Over the years there have been numerous times when we were able to point out to clients areas they had initially overlooked and issues which should be included in their settlement discussions, such as life insurance, health insurance, and children's educational needs.

Reason #4-To Share or Not to Share?

My spouse already has an attorney. Do I really need to get one too? Can't the same lawyer represent us both? The answer is no, not really. 30 years ago when I first began practicing law, it was strictly forbidden for a lawyer to represent both sides to a divorce, no matter how "friendly" it was. There are some limited circumstances in which dual representation might be allowed, provided there is full disclosure of potential conflicts of interest and a waiver of conflicts with informed consent by both parties. These situations are limited and in the event that unhappy differences or disputes should arise, the attorney must end the representation and both parties must seek new counsel. Frankly, we rarely if ever agree to dual representation. We represent our clients zealously within the bounds of the law and the conflicts in representing opposing sides are too apparent for us to agree to do so. Not only that, but if your spouse has a lawyer, that means that he/she has already sought legal advice and has some rudimentary knowledge of his/her rights, duties and responsibilities under the law.

Someone once said knowledge is power. Would you rather be the one with the knowledge (and the power) or the one without knowledge? How trusting can you be of your spouse or his/her attorney in the circumstances? Remember that your spouse's attorney already represents your spouse. In our experience, spouses, especially those who tend to be controlling will think nothing of misrepresenting the law to gain advantage in the negotiation. Recently a client told me that her husband who remains in the marital home told her that she was now his "landlord" and therefore she could not re-enter the home without his consent and presence and that his lawyer said so. Needless to say, everything he told her was wrong. Her husband also told our client that they did not need to use lawyers and could reach an agreement on their own without lawyers. He also said that if she insisted on having her attorney review paperwork before she signed it that he would find something to disagree with on each draft to drive up her costs. Clearly he was trying to manipulate, intimidate and control his wife, who was wise to seek her own independent counsel from a knowledgeable, experienced divorce attorney.

Reason #5-Do You Feel Lucky?

Going to a court hearing in a pending divorce without a lawyer is like playing Russian Roulette. How lucky do you think you are? Would you perform surgery on yourself or would you seek out a qualified surgeon? Why do you think that you know enough to represent yourself in court? Do you know what your rights, duties and responsibilities are? The judge won't help you out if you don't know what you are doing. There are rules of evidence and rules of procedure that govern hearings. You need someone on your team that knows the rules of the game. You will need someone to prepare you for your testimony in court so that you don't put your feet in your mouth up to your hip bone. You will be bound by the things that come out of your mouth in court. Recently we spoke to a man who incurred spousal and child support obligations of $4000 per month. The court issued an order based on erroneous exhibits filed by his wife's attorney and based upon things he said in open court as to his income which were not accurate. A skilled trial attorney can get you to say things that you don't mean to say, especially if you have not been prepared for your testimony.

Reason #6-Too Little, Too Late

Going to see a lawyer after you have already signed papers or participated in depositions or hearings pro se (representing yourself) is like closing the barn door, after the cow got out. Just because you were not represented does not mean that you can get out of a bad decision or bad deal you may have made or get out of rulings the court made when you were unrepresented. The time to get advice is before you sign. The time to get advice is before you go to court. In fact, you should get advice as soon as you receive legal notice of a pending lawsuit against you.

If you are reading this and you have already signed papers, you should still consult with a good experienced divorce attorney to have the papers explained to you and to review t he papers to see if there are any loopholes that may be used to renegotiate terms move favorably to you or to insist upon "clarification" of the agreement. The attorney can also explain the consequences of having signed the paperwork.

If you are reading this and you are in the midst of a divorce action and have been to depositions on your own, you should seek an immediate consultation with a good experienced divorce attorney to see if there is any legal basis to suppress the depositions. Be sure to take all of your documents with you to the consultation. We have seen situations where it was possible to reopen a case for a client because the depositions were taken too early. In such situations, the depositions were quashed by filing the appropriate papers under the rules of court. In your case it may be too late to do anything, but you should at least talk to a divorce attorney right away to be sure.

Reason #7-Isn't a Lawyer a Lawyer? (A Rose by Any Other Name...)

I know a lawyer who did the closing on our house. Can't I go to him/her for advice about separation and divorce? Yes, you could but there is a saying that if the blind lead the blind, they both fall in a ditch. Would you go to a podiatrist (foot doctor) if you had an eye infection? You could; after all, the podiatrist went to medical school and learned about the body, including the eyes. The questions are how much, if anything does he/she remember, is he/she current on the medical literature pertaining to the eye and infection, including the diagnosis and treatment of the eye? I have seen horrendous separation agreements prepared by lawyers who do not devote at least a significant portion of their practice to family law but were trying to accommodate a friend or relation in their time of need. Actually a lawyer should decline a case, if he/she does not believe that he/she has the knowledge and experience to handle it or that he/she is not willing to acquire the knowledge necessary to handle it.

It takes a significant amount of time to keep up with all of the changes in the law that affect separation and divorce. Think about it. Every week somewhere there is a court, either federal or state making a decision that could affect your situation. Every week that the legislature is in session, whether Congress or the General Assembly, they make decisions that could affect your situation. An experienced divorce attorney should make it a point to review new cases and statutes looking for those that affect family law practice; all of the best family lawyers do.

Reason #8-Prepaid Legal?

If you have paid for this service, then certainly you can talk to one of the participating attorneys. But unless the attorney is an experienced divorce lawyer with a significant portion of his/her practice devoted to separation and divorce and related issues, you should give serious consideration to looking outside of your prepaid plan. Has the lawyer written any books or articles on separation, divorce or related issues that are published? I am not a participating attorney in a pre paid legal plan. The best divorce lawyers are not participants in "prepaid" legal. To my knowledge there are no fellows (members) of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers who participate in pre paid legal services plans. If you are reading this report and have personal knowledge of an attorney who belongs to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and also belongs to a pre paid legal plan, please email us at valawtalk@justice.com to report the name of the attorney so that we can verify the information and update this report.

Think about what is at stake; the custody and support of your children, and the division of assets you may have worked your entire married life to accumulate, including your home, pension, savings, military retirement and/or 401K. Do you really want to cut corners when it comes to your kids? Your home? Your pension? Your retirement?

Reason #9-A Ship Needs a Navigator

If you think of your legal case as a ship, the client is the captain of the ship and the client's attorney is the navigator. The navigator doesn't decide where to go, but he/she does map out the best course to arrive at the destination. Divorce is difficult, even "friendly" divorce is not easy. It can be an emotional rollercoaster. You need emotional, psychological and legal support. In choosing to separate and divorce, you will be faced with important decisions that will affect you, your spouse and your children not only now but in the foreseeable future. Passions can run hot during this difficult time and you need a clear head. You need a team of individuals including someone knowledgeable in separation and divorce law to help you see clearly and navigate the difficult and sometimes angry waters of separation and divorce.

Not having a good divorce lawyer at the planning and separation stage leaves you without the sound advice and rational third party perspective you need to make decisions which can bind you for life. Not having a good divorce lawyer at the divorce stage leaves you without the knowledge, experience and advocacy of a good experienced divorce attorney. It leaves you at the mercy of your spouse and your spouse's attorney. Neither your spouse nor his/her attorney is there to show you mercy. You need someone to fight for you when you cannot fight for yourself. You need someone to help you understand what is gong on and how to act in the storm.

You need someone who can help you to be pro-active and not simply re-active to steps that your spouse takes. You want a team to support you, a team which can and should include your pastor, rabbi or spiritual advisor, your CPA or tax advisor, extended family, friends and a good experienced divorce attorney.

Reason #10-You Need an Advocate

You are going through a traumatic experience. Divorce is one of the most difficult experiences in life, second only to the death of a spouse. You need someone who understands what is at stake and will advocate for your interests with not only knowledge and experience but passion and feeling. When you interview attorneys, find out why they practice family law and what motivates them in advocating for clients. What is it that makes them passionate advocates? I recently spoke with another trial attorney who does not generally handle divorce work. He usually handles criminal and traffic defense and civil suits for money damages; he told me that he was forced by the poor economy to take a contested divorce case. Divorce and family law are not his first choice of trial work. He is doing it now solely for the money. Is that the motivation you would want in your attorney? Or would you rather have a lawyer who has made a conscious decsion to focus on family law and uses his/her life experience such as knowing what it is like to be a child of divorce to relate to the circumstances of your case and to advocate for you with passion and conviction?

Divorce Lawyers

Exactly how to Work With a Divorce Lawyer

Northeast Queens

I recently overheard someone in a bookstore telling a group of people why they should not have their own attorneys, how they could not trust lawyers, how lawyers would cheat them and how they should rely upon the company the speaker belonged to instead. That conversation got me thinking about why people facing separation and divorce need not just any lawyer, but a good divorce lawyer.

Reason #1-What You need to know

You need to know your rights, duties and responsibilities under the law. Only a lawyer who has been retained to represent your interests can advise you. How can you realistically discuss financial arrangements in separating and divorcing, if you don't know what your rights, duties and responsibilities are? Not knowing what your rights are can result in not getting your fair share of assets, your fair share of support or your fair share of time with your children. Not knowing what your duties and responsibilities are can result in your paying more than your fair share of assets or your fair share of support. Most attorneys offer a special reduced rate for consulting services to encourage people to get advice early and often. There is no reason to rely on backyard fence advice, when you can get real advice from a qualified experienced divorce lawyer for a reasonable fee. Furthermore, in my experience, the backyard fence advice is usually wrong. Remember that if what you hear is half true, it is still wrong.

Reason #2-Backyard Advice

My friend is divorced. Why can't I rely on my friend's experience and knowledge. Well, you could do that but what you need to realize is that unless your friend is a licensed attorney, he/she is not authorized to practice law. Your friend's knowledge will be limited to his/her particular experience. His/her experience with the law is limited to the facts of his/her case and the law as it was at the time. Things change. The law changes. Any change in the facts will change the outcome or advice. Furthermore, changes in the law will change the advice. Your friend simply lacks the knowledge and experience to give sound practical legal advice.

Reason #3-Identifying Issues

The sooner you get a lawyer, the sooner you will learn what you need to know to protect yourself (and your children and property interests). Sometimes people have no idea how to go about identifying the issues they need to discuss, even if the separation is an amicable one and the parties anticipate a "friendly divorce." A good, experienced divorce lawyer can assist you in identifying the issues you need to discuss with your spouse to achieve a comprehensive agreement and global settlement. Over the years there have been numerous times when we were able to point out to clients areas they had initially overlooked and issues which should be included in their settlement discussions, such as life insurance, health insurance, and children's educational needs.

Reason #4-To Share or Not to Share?

My spouse already has an attorney. Do I really need to get one too? Can't the same lawyer represent us both? The answer is no, not really. 30 years ago when I first began practicing law, it was strictly forbidden for a lawyer to represent both sides to a divorce, no matter how "friendly" it was. There are some limited circumstances in which dual representation might be allowed, provided there is full disclosure of potential conflicts of interest and a waiver of conflicts with informed consent by both parties. These situations are limited and in the event that unhappy differences or disputes should arise, the attorney must end the representation and both parties must seek new counsel. Frankly, we rarely if ever agree to dual representation. We represent our clients zealously within the bounds of the law and the conflicts in representing opposing sides are too apparent for us to agree to do so. Not only that, but if your spouse has a lawyer, that means that he/she has already sought legal advice and has some rudimentary knowledge of his/her rights, duties and responsibilities under the law.

Someone once said knowledge is power. Would you rather be the one with the knowledge (and the power) or the one without knowledge? How trusting can you be of your spouse or his/her attorney in the circumstances? Remember that your spouse's attorney already represents your spouse. In our experience, spouses, especially those who tend to be controlling will think nothing of misrepresenting the law to gain advantage in the negotiation. Recently a client told me that her husband who remains in the marital home told her that she was now his "landlord" and therefore she could not re-enter the home without his consent and presence and that his lawyer said so. Needless to say, everything he told her was wrong. Her husband also told our client that they did not need to use lawyers and could reach an agreement on their own without lawyers. He also said that if she insisted on having her attorney review paperwork before she signed it that he would find something to disagree with on each draft to drive up her costs. Clearly he was trying to manipulate, intimidate and control his wife, who was wise to seek her own independent counsel from a knowledgeable, experienced divorce attorney.

Reason #5-Do You Feel Lucky?

Going to a court hearing in a pending divorce without a lawyer is like playing Russian Roulette. How lucky do you think you are? Would you perform surgery on yourself or would you seek out a qualified surgeon? Why do you think that you know enough to represent yourself in court? Do you know what your rights, duties and responsibilities are? The judge won't help you out if you don't know what you are doing. There are rules of evidence and rules of procedure that govern hearings. You need someone on your team that knows the rules of the game. You will need someone to prepare you for your testimony in court so that you don't put your feet in your mouth up to your hip bone. You will be bound by the things that come out of your mouth in court. Recently we spoke to a man who incurred spousal and child support obligations of $4000 per month. The court issued an order based on erroneous exhibits filed by his wife's attorney and based upon things he said in open court as to his income which were not accurate. A skilled trial attorney can get you to say things that you don't mean to say, especially if you have not been prepared for your testimony.

Reason #6-Too Little, Too Late

Going to see a lawyer after you have already signed papers or participated in depositions or hearings pro se (representing yourself) is like closing the barn door, after the cow got out. Just because you were not represented does not mean that you can get out of a bad decision or bad deal you may have made or get out of rulings the court made when you were unrepresented. The time to get advice is before you sign. The time to get advice is before you go to court. In fact, you should get advice as soon as you receive legal notice of a pending lawsuit against you.

If you are reading this and you have already signed papers, you should still consult with a good experienced divorce attorney to have the papers explained to you and to review t he papers to see if there are any loopholes that may be used to renegotiate terms move favorably to you or to insist upon "clarification" of the agreement. The attorney can also explain the consequences of having signed the paperwork.

If you are reading this and you are in the midst of a divorce action and have been to depositions on your own, you should seek an immediate consultation with a good experienced divorce attorney to see if there is any legal basis to suppress the depositions. Be sure to take all of your documents with you to the consultation. We have seen situations where it was possible to reopen a case for a client because the depositions were taken too early. In such situations, the depositions were quashed by filing the appropriate papers under the rules of court. In your case it may be too late to do anything, but you should at least talk to a divorce attorney right away to be sure.

Reason #7-Isn't a Lawyer a Lawyer? (A Rose by Any Other Name...)

I know a lawyer who did the closing on our house. Can't I go to him/her for advice about separation and divorce? Yes, you could but there is a saying that if the blind lead the blind, they both fall in a ditch. Would you go to a podiatrist (foot doctor) if you had an eye infection? You could; after all, the podiatrist went to medical school and learned about the body, including the eyes. The questions are how much, if anything does he/she remember, is he/she current on the medical literature pertaining to the eye and infection, including the diagnosis and treatment of the eye? I have seen horrendous separation agreements prepared by lawyers who do not devote at least a significant portion of their practice to family law but were trying to accommodate a friend or relation in their time of need. Actually a lawyer should decline a case, if he/she does not believe that he/she has the knowledge and experience to handle it or that he/she is not willing to acquire the knowledge necessary to handle it.

It takes a significant amount of time to keep up with all of the changes in the law that affect separation and divorce. Think about it. Every week somewhere there is a court, either federal or state making a decision that could affect your situation. Every week that the legislature is in session, whether Congress or the General Assembly, they make decisions that could affect your situation. An experienced divorce attorney should make it a point to review new cases and statutes looking for those that affect family law practice; all of the best family lawyers do.

Reason #8-Prepaid Legal?

If you have paid for this service, then certainly you can talk to one of the participating attorneys. But unless the attorney is an experienced divorce lawyer with a significant portion of his/her practice devoted to separation and divorce and related issues, you should give serious consideration to looking outside of your prepaid plan. Has the lawyer written any books or articles on separation, divorce or related issues that are published? I am not a participating attorney in a pre paid legal plan. The best divorce lawyers are not participants in "prepaid" legal. To my knowledge there are no fellows (members) of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers who participate in pre paid legal services plans. If you are reading this report and have personal knowledge of an attorney who belongs to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and also belongs to a pre paid legal plan, please email us at valawtalk@justice.com to report the name of the attorney so that we can verify the information and update this report.

Think about what is at stake; the custody and support of your children, and the division of assets you may have worked your entire married life to accumulate, including your home, pension, savings, military retirement and/or 401K. Do you really want to cut corners when it comes to your kids? Your home? Your pension? Your retirement?

Reason #9-A Ship Needs a Navigator

If you think of your legal case as a ship, the client is the captain of the ship and the client's attorney is the navigator. The navigator doesn't decide where to go, but he/she does map out the best course to arrive at the destination. Divorce is difficult, even "friendly" divorce is not easy. It can be an emotional rollercoaster. You need emotional, psychological and legal support. In choosing to separate and divorce, you will be faced with important decisions that will affect you, your spouse and your children not only now but in the foreseeable future. Passions can run hot during this difficult time and you need a clear head. You need a team of individuals including someone knowledgeable in separation and divorce law to help you see clearly and navigate the difficult and sometimes angry waters of separation and divorce.

Not having a good divorce lawyer at the planning and separation stage leaves you without the sound advice and rational third party perspective you need to make decisions which can bind you for life. Not having a good divorce lawyer at the divorce stage leaves you without the knowledge, experience and advocacy of a good experienced divorce attorney. It leaves you at the mercy of your spouse and your spouse's attorney. Neither your spouse nor his/her attorney is there to show you mercy. You need someone to fight for you when you cannot fight for yourself. You need someone to help you understand what is gong on and how to act in the storm.

You need someone who can help you to be pro-active and not simply re-active to steps that your spouse takes. You want a team to support you, a team which can and should include your pastor, rabbi or spiritual advisor, your CPA or tax advisor, extended family, friends and a good experienced divorce attorney.

Reason #10-You Need an Advocate

You are going through a traumatic experience. Divorce is one of the most difficult experiences in life, second only to the death of a spouse. You need someone who understands what is at stake and will advocate for your interests with not only knowledge and experience but passion and feeling. When you interview attorneys, find out why they practice family law and what motivates them in advocating for clients. What is it that makes them passionate advocates? I recently spoke with another trial attorney who does not generally handle divorce work. He usually handles criminal and traffic defense and civil suits for money damages; he told me that he was forced by the poor economy to take a contested divorce case. Divorce and family law are not his first choice of trial work. He is doing it now solely for the money. Is that the motivation you would want in your attorney? Or would you rather have a lawyer who has made a conscious decsion to focus on family law and uses his/her life experience such as knowing what it is like to be a child of divorce to relate to the circumstances of your case and to advocate for you with passion and conviction?

___________________________________________

Law Office in New York

Separation in Queens NYC

Divorce Support System in Queens

Summary: Divorce support groups can be useful and enormously helpful throughout your emotional phases. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that burden with these divorce support groups.

The road to recovery from any uncomfortable divorce can be disheartening, and it can actually, really be lonely. To ease this forlorn journey of starting fresh, you need a lot of company and inspiration with individuals who would care, people who are much like you, who understands that a little carefully prod will get you on track sooner than you might want to believe.

Divorce support groups can be significantly encouraging and helpful during your psychological phases. Most or all of the members have successfully seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they command these divorce support groups to recover and assist recover the injuries of the most recent members. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that concern with these divorce support groups.

Divorce Care in Queens

Include a friendly group in Queens of individuals that satisfy weekly to assist those with divorce problems deal with these obstacles and approach reconstructing lives. Each of the divorce support group session hosts 2 different functions which are the video seminar with professionals where the group will view a video workshop about dealing with divorce issues; and the divorce support system with a focus which will discuss the video discussion and the divorce issues in between the lives of the group members.

Gaurdian

Divorce Recovery 101

Another online divorce support system, Divorce Recovery features divorce procedures assist, advise, pointers, divorce law in-depth description, divorce data, and divorce-related information. Read and compare your experiences with the 300 Life-Changing Articles on Divorce Recovery. There are numerous articles about life after divorce too.

Divorce Peers in Queens

A free access community service website in Queens, Divorce Peers helps struggling people cope up with the pressures and obstacles purchased up by divorce. Seek the assistance of how to decide on child custody, the financial issues that would expectedly surface, divorce mediation and of course aid in dealing with the effects of divorce.

Divorce Peers in Queens is developed to accommodate 2 kinds of visitors: those that need aid and those that can give assistance. For those that can provide assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to handle members suffering from divorce.

Family Law

Summary: Divorce assistance groups can be helpful and tremendously helpful during your emotional stages. The majority of or all of the members in Queens have actually effectively seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they preside over these divorce assistance groups to assist and recover heal the wounds of the most recent members. You can begin a divorce support group of your own or take part in an existing group. Another online divorce assistance group, Divorce Recovery in Queens includes divorce proceedings help, encourage ideas, divorce law in-depth description, divorce statistics and divorce associated details. For those that can offer assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to deal with members suffering from divorce.

Divorce Mediation

Queens

Do not expose your family members to mental torture

If you are looking for divorce lawyer should ensure that he or she has the right attitude for the task, they are reliable and above all, an expert in the field. Regarding experience, should be able to demonstrate that at least half of their work involves divorce and have the bargaining power of divorce as well. Your lawyer should be someone you trust and work comfortably, someone who has their confidence.

Divorce lawyers who tend to follow the path of mediation is to give good advice to pay, but you may need a lawyer who is familiar with the localities courtroom. To get the most from your divorce lawyer and save money when you need to talk to them, be well prepared and I wrote everything, but do not waste your money by asking questions whose answers are available.

The plan of each conversation to a program, write the things I mean, take notes on the content of the conversation, track time spent on all phone calls and meetings. Try to keep the actual meetings, as a minimum and where points have to be removed, using the phone or send a letter.

Your lawyer is your advice to both predictable that any legal action, but try not to count on them for anything but what you pay if you need a shoulder to cry on, you'd better talk with friends relatives and parents. Always try to stick to facts and not general complaints about the behavior of your spouse, because it is a waste of money to use as a sounding board.

The most important is that you have addressed the control of the situation that should be yours and you can then use their lawyer does most efficient divorce. Tell the divorce lawyer you want good advice and will rely on the experience of the lawyer, but he expects to make decisions that concern the tone and strategy of the case.

Divorce lawyer to inform you that copies of all correspondence relating to the divorce must be sent to you with all information and contact you if they expect a response within one business day. There are cases that can not actually need direct legal representation, but you may want to use the services of a divorce lawyer for advice on legal issues only.

You may decide to conduct extensive research before contacting them is to ask the questions that have not been able to find the answers too. The Divorce lawyer can help develop or marital settlements that his clients have grown, but in this scenario, if all goes as planned, at least you have a divorce lawyer who knows your case.

Divorce Lawyer

2 Relationship Awesomes

Queens

I recently overheard someone in a bookstore telling a group of people why they should not have their own attorneys, how they could not trust lawyers, how lawyers would cheat them and how they should rely upon the company the speaker belonged to instead. That conversation got me thinking about why people facing separation and divorce need not just any lawyer, but a good divorce lawyer.

Reason #1-What You need to know

You need to know your rights, duties and responsibilities under the law. Only a lawyer who has been retained to represent your interests can advise you. How can you realistically discuss financial arrangements in separating and divorcing, if you don't know what your rights, duties and responsibilities are? Not knowing what your rights are can result in not getting your fair share of assets, your fair share of support or your fair share of time with your children. Not knowing what your duties and responsibilities are can result in your paying more than your fair share of assets or your fair share of support. Most attorneys offer a special reduced rate for consulting services to encourage people to get advice early and often. There is no reason to rely on backyard fence advice, when you can get real advice from a qualified experienced divorce lawyer for a reasonable fee. Furthermore, in my experience, the backyard fence advice is usually wrong. Remember that if what you hear is half true, it is still wrong.

Reason #2-Backyard Advice

My friend is divorced. Why can't I rely on my friend's experience and knowledge. Well, you could do that but what you need to realize is that unless your friend is a licensed attorney, he/she is not authorized to practice law. Your friend's knowledge will be limited to his/her particular experience. His/her experience with the law is limited to the facts of his/her case and the law as it was at the time. Things change. The law changes. Any change in the facts will change the outcome or advice. Furthermore, changes in the law will change the advice. Your friend simply lacks the knowledge and experience to give sound practical legal advice.

Reason #3-Identifying Issues

The sooner you get a lawyer, the sooner you will learn what you need to know to protect yourself (and your children and property interests). Sometimes people have no idea how to go about identifying the issues they need to discuss, even if the separation is an amicable one and the parties anticipate a "friendly divorce." A good, experienced divorce lawyer can assist you in identifying the issues you need to discuss with your spouse to achieve a comprehensive agreement and global settlement. Over the years there have been numerous times when we were able to point out to clients areas they had initially overlooked and issues which should be included in their settlement discussions, such as life insurance, health insurance, and children's educational needs.

Reason #4-To Share or Not to Share?

My spouse already has an attorney. Do I really need to get one too? Can't the same lawyer represent us both? The answer is no, not really. 30 years ago when I first began practicing law, it was strictly forbidden for a lawyer to represent both sides to a divorce, no matter how "friendly" it was. There are some limited circumstances in which dual representation might be allowed, provided there is full disclosure of potential conflicts of interest and a waiver of conflicts with informed consent by both parties. These situations are limited and in the event that unhappy differences or disputes should arise, the attorney must end the representation and both parties must seek new counsel. Frankly, we rarely if ever agree to dual representation. We represent our clients zealously within the bounds of the law and the conflicts in representing opposing sides are too apparent for us to agree to do so. Not only that, but if your spouse has a lawyer, that means that he/she has already sought legal advice and has some rudimentary knowledge of his/her rights, duties and responsibilities under the law.

Someone once said knowledge is power. Would you rather be the one with the knowledge (and the power) or the one without knowledge? How trusting can you be of your spouse or his/her attorney in the circumstances? Remember that your spouse's attorney already represents your spouse. In our experience, spouses, especially those who tend to be controlling will think nothing of misrepresenting the law to gain advantage in the negotiation. Recently a client told me that her husband who remains in the marital home told her that she was now his "landlord" and therefore she could not re-enter the home without his consent and presence and that his lawyer said so. Needless to say, everything he told her was wrong. Her husband also told our client that they did not need to use lawyers and could reach an agreement on their own without lawyers. He also said that if she insisted on having her attorney review paperwork before she signed it that he would find something to disagree with on each draft to drive up her costs. Clearly he was trying to manipulate, intimidate and control his wife, who was wise to seek her own independent counsel from a knowledgeable, experienced divorce attorney.

Reason #5-Do You Feel Lucky?

Going to a court hearing in a pending divorce without a lawyer is like playing Russian Roulette. How lucky do you think you are? Would you perform surgery on yourself or would you seek out a qualified surgeon? Why do you think that you know enough to represent yourself in court? Do you know what your rights, duties and responsibilities are? The judge won't help you out if you don't know what you are doing. There are rules of evidence and rules of procedure that govern hearings. You need someone on your team that knows the rules of the game. You will need someone to prepare you for your testimony in court so that you don't put your feet in your mouth up to your hip bone. You will be bound by the things that come out of your mouth in court. Recently we spoke to a man who incurred spousal and child support obligations of $4000 per month. The court issued an order based on erroneous exhibits filed by his wife's attorney and based upon things he said in open court as to his income which were not accurate. A skilled trial attorney can get you to say things that you don't mean to say, especially if you have not been prepared for your testimony.

Reason #6-Too Little, Too Late

Going to see a lawyer after you have already signed papers or participated in depositions or hearings pro se (representing yourself) is like closing the barn door, after the cow got out. Just because you were not represented does not mean that you can get out of a bad decision or bad deal you may have made or get out of rulings the court made when you were unrepresented. The time to get advice is before you sign. The time to get advice is before you go to court. In fact, you should get advice as soon as you receive legal notice of a pending lawsuit against you.

If you are reading this and you have already signed papers, you should still consult with a good experienced divorce attorney to have the papers explained to you and to review t he papers to see if there are any loopholes that may be used to renegotiate terms move favorably to you or to insist upon "clarification" of the agreement. The attorney can also explain the consequences of having signed the paperwork.

If you are reading this and you are in the midst of a divorce action and have been to depositions on your own, you should seek an immediate consultation with a good experienced divorce attorney to see if there is any legal basis to suppress the depositions. Be sure to take all of your documents with you to the consultation. We have seen situations where it was possible to reopen a case for a client because the depositions were taken too early. In such situations, the depositions were quashed by filing the appropriate papers under the rules of court. In your case it may be too late to do anything, but you should at least talk to a divorce attorney right away to be sure.

Reason #7-Isn't a Lawyer a Lawyer? (A Rose by Any Other Name...)

I know a lawyer who did the closing on our house. Can't I go to him/her for advice about separation and divorce? Yes, you could but there is a saying that if the blind lead the blind, they both fall in a ditch. Would you go to a podiatrist (foot doctor) if you had an eye infection? You could; after all, the podiatrist went to medical school and learned about the body, including the eyes. The questions are how much, if anything does he/she remember, is he/she current on the medical literature pertaining to the eye and infection, including the diagnosis and treatment of the eye? I have seen horrendous separation agreements prepared by lawyers who do not devote at least a significant portion of their practice to family law but were trying to accommodate a friend or relation in their time of need. Actually a lawyer should decline a case, if he/she does not believe that he/she has the knowledge and experience to handle it or that he/she is not willing to acquire the knowledge necessary to handle it.

It takes a significant amount of time to keep up with all of the changes in the law that affect separation and divorce. Think about it. Every week somewhere there is a court, either federal or state making a decision that could affect your situation. Every week that the legislature is in session, whether Congress or the General Assembly, they make decisions that could affect your situation. An experienced divorce attorney should make it a point to review new cases and statutes looking for those that affect family law practice; all of the best family lawyers do.

Reason #8-Prepaid Legal?

If you have paid for this service, then certainly you can talk to one of the participating attorneys. But unless the attorney is an experienced divorce lawyer with a significant portion of his/her practice devoted to separation and divorce and related issues, you should give serious consideration to looking outside of your prepaid plan. Has the lawyer written any books or articles on separation, divorce or related issues that are published? I am not a participating attorney in a pre paid legal plan. The best divorce lawyers are not participants in "prepaid" legal. To my knowledge there are no fellows (members) of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers who participate in pre paid legal services plans. If you are reading this report and have personal knowledge of an attorney who belongs to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and also belongs to a pre paid legal plan, please email us at valawtalk@justice.com to report the name of the attorney so that we can verify the information and update this report.

Think about what is at stake; the custody and support of your children, and the division of assets you may have worked your entire married life to accumulate, including your home, pension, savings, military retirement and/or 401K. Do you really want to cut corners when it comes to your kids? Your home? Your pension? Your retirement?

Reason #9-A Ship Needs a Navigator

If you think of your legal case as a ship, the client is the captain of the ship and the client's attorney is the navigator. The navigator doesn't decide where to go, but he/she does map out the best course to arrive at the destination. Divorce is difficult, even "friendly" divorce is not easy. It can be an emotional rollercoaster. You need emotional, psychological and legal support. In choosing to separate and divorce, you will be faced with important decisions that will affect you, your spouse and your children not only now but in the foreseeable future. Passions can run hot during this difficult time and you need a clear head. You need a team of individuals including someone knowledgeable in separation and divorce law to help you see clearly and navigate the difficult and sometimes angry waters of separation and divorce.

Not having a good divorce lawyer at the planning and separation stage leaves you without the sound advice and rational third party perspective you need to make decisions which can bind you for life. Not having a good divorce lawyer at the divorce stage leaves you without the knowledge, experience and advocacy of a good experienced divorce attorney. It leaves you at the mercy of your spouse and your spouse's attorney. Neither your spouse nor his/her attorney is there to show you mercy. You need someone to fight for you when you cannot fight for yourself. You need someone to help you understand what is gong on and how to act in the storm.

You need someone who can help you to be pro-active and not simply re-active to steps that your spouse takes. You want a team to support you, a team which can and should include your pastor, rabbi or spiritual advisor, your CPA or tax advisor, extended family, friends and a good experienced divorce attorney.

Reason #10-You Need an Advocate

You are going through a traumatic experience. Divorce is one of the most difficult experiences in life, second only to the death of a spouse. You need someone who understands what is at stake and will advocate for your interests with not only knowledge and experience but passion and feeling. When you interview attorneys, find out why they practice family law and what motivates them in advocating for clients. What is it that makes them passionate advocates? I recently spoke with another trial attorney who does not generally handle divorce work. He usually handles criminal and traffic defense and civil suits for money damages; he told me that he was forced by the poor economy to take a contested divorce case. Divorce and family law are not his first choice of trial work. He is doing it now solely for the money. Is that the motivation you would want in your attorney? Or would you rather have a lawyer who has made a conscious decsion to focus on family law and uses his/her life experience such as knowing what it is like to be a child of divorce to relate to the circumstances of your case and to advocate for you with passion and conviction?

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Law Office in New York

How To File For Divorce in Washington Heights Manhattan NYC

Divorce Support System in Washington Heights Manhattan

Summary: Divorce support groups can be useful and enormously helpful throughout your emotional phases. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that burden with these divorce support groups.

The road to recovery from any uncomfortable divorce can be disheartening, and it can actually, really be lonely. To ease this forlorn journey of starting fresh, you need a lot of company and inspiration with individuals who would care, people who are much like you, who understands that a little carefully prod will get you on track sooner than you might want to believe.

Divorce support groups can be significantly encouraging and helpful during your psychological phases. Most or all of the members have successfully seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they command these divorce support groups to recover and assist recover the injuries of the most recent members. So, do not tackle your issue alone. Share that concern with these divorce support groups.

Divorce Care in Washington Heights Manhattan

Include a friendly group in Washington Heights Manhattan of individuals that satisfy weekly to assist those with divorce problems deal with these obstacles and approach reconstructing lives. Each of the divorce support group session hosts 2 different functions which are the video seminar with professionals where the group will view a video workshop about dealing with divorce issues; and the divorce support system with a focus which will discuss the video discussion and the divorce issues in between the lives of the group members.

Separation

Divorce Recovery 101

Another online divorce support system, Divorce Recovery features divorce procedures assist, advise, pointers, divorce law in-depth description, divorce data, and divorce-related information. Read and compare your experiences with the 300 Life-Changing Articles on Divorce Recovery. There are numerous articles about life after divorce too.

Divorce Peers in Washington Heights Manhattan

A free access community service website in Washington Heights Manhattan, Divorce Peers helps struggling people cope up with the pressures and obstacles purchased up by divorce. Seek the assistance of how to decide on child custody, the financial issues that would expectedly surface, divorce mediation and of course aid in dealing with the effects of divorce.

Divorce Peers in Washington Heights Manhattan is developed to accommodate 2 kinds of visitors: those that need aid and those that can give assistance. For those that can provide assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to handle members suffering from divorce.

Attorney

Summary: Divorce assistance groups can be helpful and tremendously helpful during your emotional stages. The majority of or all of the members in Washington Heights Manhattan have actually effectively seen their lives guide ahead of divorce and now they preside over these divorce assistance groups to assist and recover heal the wounds of the most recent members. You can begin a divorce support group of your own or take part in an existing group. Another online divorce assistance group, Divorce Recovery in Washington Heights Manhattan includes divorce proceedings help, encourage ideas, divorce law in-depth description, divorce statistics and divorce associated details. For those that can offer assistance, Divorce Peers do train for group leaders on how to deal with members suffering from divorce.

Prenuptial Agreement

Washington Heights Manhattan

Do not expose your family members to mental torture

Consider a primary relationship in your life where you like somebody and they love you. This could be an intimate collaboration, a child-parent relationship or a really close friendship. Here are the two things to prevent, if you wish to make sure love is present at all times.

Relationship killer #1:

Firstly, you should never expect that because someone loves you, they need to sacrifice themselves for you and put your needs first. We often mistakenly think that the degree to which someone suffers is a testimony for the amount of love they have for us. Likewise, we mistakenly believe that if someone puts their needs first, they don't love us. But that is not true at all. If I refuse to sacrifice myself for you, it doesn't mean I don't love you. It simply means I am clear on what works for me and what doesn't, and I don't mess with my own needs. Please don't take this personal. I love you nonetheless, but I certainly don't have to suffer in order to prove my love for you. Besides, if you doubt it, chances are no matter how much I suffer, you will never believe me anyway. Get this: your partner having fun while you are in hardship doesn't mean they don't love you. The people who love you don't owe you any suffering on their part whenever things are not working out for you. So don't be jealous when your loved one is out with friends while you are working hard or cooking alone at home. No one needs to put their own life on hold only because yours is (even when they truly love you!). Of course, you can ask for support. That's perfectly reasonable. But asking someone to sacrifice themselves and to suffer so you can feel loved - that is totally unreasonable. And it is a sure relationship killer.

Relationship killer #2:

The other way to kill a relationship is by trying to prove your love for someone by sacrificing your own needs and suffering as a consequence. See, whenever you suffer, there is no real love to speak of. If you were doing something for someone because you wanted to and because you loved them unconditionally, you wouldn't be suffering. But if you sacrifice yourself out of obligation and/or guilt, the unconditional love is gone and you are likely to expect something in return. In other words, you try to manipulate someone into loving you back by doing things for them which they then have to repay you for. Sadly enough, you are playing a game thinking you can control someone else's feelings and buy their love. Of course, the result is just the opposite - you are slowly but surely killing the relationship. So stop that immediately by starting to put yourself and your needs first. Find your own truth and start honoring it. Understand that you are allowed to have a good time without feeling guilty when your partner does not want to or cannot participate. Of course, you can support them when they are feeling low. But you don't have to suffer with them or else you will become resentful and kill the relationship as a result.

In conclusion:

 

  • Love should be free - no attachments, no suffering, no trading of favors, and no feelings of obligation and guilt.
  • Love should be independent - I love you and I put myself first; you love me and you put yourself first; we love each other and we honor our independent needs nonetheless.
  • Love should be by choice - I love you how I want to, not how I feel have to.
Common Law Marriage

How Separation Attorney For Men Can Assist Clients Prevent Mistakes

Washington Heights Manhattan

Consider a primary relationship in your life where you like somebody and they love you. This could be an intimate collaboration, a child-parent relationship or a really close friendship. Here are the two things to prevent, if you wish to make sure love is present at all times.

Relationship killer #1:

Firstly, you should never expect that because someone loves you, they need to sacrifice themselves for you and put your needs first. We often mistakenly think that the degree to which someone suffers is a testimony for the amount of love they have for us. Likewise, we mistakenly believe that if someone puts their needs first, they don't love us. But that is not true at all. If I refuse to sacrifice myself for you, it doesn't mean I don't love you. It simply means I am clear on what works for me and what doesn't, and I don't mess with my own needs. Please don't take this personal. I love you nonetheless, but I certainly don't have to suffer in order to prove my love for you. Besides, if you doubt it, chances are no matter how much I suffer, you will never believe me anyway. Get this: your partner having fun while you are in hardship doesn't mean they don't love you. The people who love you don't owe you any suffering on their part whenever things are not working out for you. So don't be jealous when your loved one is out with friends while you are working hard or cooking alone at home. No one needs to put their own life on hold only because yours is (even when they truly love you!). Of course, you can ask for support. That's perfectly reasonable. But asking someone to sacrifice themselves and to suffer so you can feel loved - that is totally unreasonable. And it is a sure relationship killer.

Relationship killer #2:

The other way to kill a relationship is by trying to prove your love for someone by sacrificing your own needs and suffering as a consequence. See, whenever you suffer, there is no real love to speak of. If you were doing something for someone because you wanted to and because you loved them unconditionally, you wouldn't be suffering. But if you sacrifice yourself out of obligation and/or guilt, the unconditional love is gone and you are likely to expect something in return. In other words, you try to manipulate someone into loving you back by doing things for them which they then have to repay you for. Sadly enough, you are playing a game thinking you can control someone else's feelings and buy their love. Of course, the result is just the opposite - you are slowly but surely killing the relationship. So stop that immediately by starting to put yourself and your needs first. Find your own truth and start honoring it. Understand that you are allowed to have a good time without feeling guilty when your partner does not want to or cannot participate. Of course, you can support them when they are feeling low. But you don't have to suffer with them or else you will become resentful and kill the relationship as a result.

In conclusion:

 

  • Love should be free - no attachments, no suffering, no trading of favors, and no feelings of obligation and guilt.
  • Love should be independent - I love you and I put myself first; you love me and you put yourself first; we love each other and we honor our independent needs nonetheless.
  • Love should be by choice - I love you how I want to, not how I feel have to.

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Law Office in New York